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LochNessMonster

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LochNessMonster

Not A Hard Case

Fellow goes into bookshop and asks do you have a book on suffocation. The sales assistant said Yes, sir ! Would you like a bag with it....
13:13 Sat 14th Sep 20135 answers, last by excelsior-1 14:55 Sat 14th Sep 2013
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LochNessMonster

Ladies Remember To Get Checked ?

Mrs Nessie told this morning she as breast cancer, however it has not spread. She is getting operated in 2 weeks time. Were have been both terrified the last week awaiting results of tests. So please...
14:15 Thu 12th Sep 201330 answers, last by BlueToffee 07:26 Fri 13th Sep 2013
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LochNessMonster

Never In A Month Of Sundays

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got...
12:13 Mon 02nd Sep 20134 answers, last by cupid04 15:10 Mon 02nd Sep 2013
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LochNessMonster

Soldier On America

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you...
12:09 Mon 02nd Sep 20137 answers, last by heathfield 15:55 Mon 02nd Sep 2013
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LochNessMonster

What Do You Call A Dinosaur Who Eats Curries ?

A Megasoreass !
11:23 Wed 28th Aug 201310 answers, last by tonyav 11:58 Wed 28th Aug 2013
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LochNessMonster

How Can The Government Pay For Another Conflict When The Poor And Disabled In Britain Are Struggling ?

Have a feeling this is going to be another Iraq, in with the Americans all guns a blazing. Stay well clear until the UN gets its finger out.
08:59 Wed 28th Aug 201316 answers, last by LochNessMonster 14:03 Thu 29th Aug 2013
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LochNessMonster

Joke Time ?

A guy goes into a Boots to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the sales assistant? "I don't know." "Go and see my manager Sophie in aisle 4. He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and...
12:23 Wed 19th Jun 20134 answers, last by frugalfred 16:40 Wed 19th Jun 2013
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LochNessMonster

Text Codes For A Senior Citizen

Here is some for us to get going. ATD - At the doctors BTW - Bring the wheelchair BYOT - Bring your own teeth LMDO - Laughed my dentures out ROFLACGU - Rolling on floor laughing and can't get up...
10:48 Thu 06th Jun 201313 answers, last by LochNessMonster 07:49 Fri 07th Jun 2013
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LochNessMonster

Can You Advice Folks ?

Friend lost his job on Monday, (cut backs) he has now to claim JSA. The question is he owns his house will this restrict his amount of money given, and for how long? Thanks to all who help. Nessie LMN...
08:15 Wed 05th Jun 20135 answers, last by LochNessMonster 10:52 Thu 06th Jun 2013
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LochNessMonster

Should We Have A Mp's Cull ?

If poor badgers are getting blamed for spreading disease, are MP's not spreading corruption throughout Britain.
07:26 Mon 03rd Jun 201312 answers, last by Arksided 08:31 Mon 03rd Jun 2013
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LochNessMonster

Good Morning Folks For The Loch, What Are You Up To Today ?

Looks like its going to be sunny here in Inverness. Nessie :-)...
07:18 Mon 03rd Jun 20132 answers, last by steg 16:04 Mon 03rd Jun 2013
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LochNessMonster

Whats Your Favourite Mobile App Called ?

How much it cost you and what does it do.
11:03 Thu 23rd May 201317 answers, last by Maydup 17:19 Mon 27th May 2013
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LochNessMonster

Sock Company Tribute To Johnny Cash (Funny)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVV6oCwf0-8 or http://youtu.be/EVV6oCwf0-8...
13:38 Mon 20th May 2013
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LochNessMonster

Wahts Your Favourite Television Advert Of All Time?

Always loved this one below, pity they can't show it these days. http://youtu.be/dYPGyhOzdsI...
12:41 Mon 06th May 201312 answers, last by Khandro 12:02 Tue 07th May 2013
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LochNessMonster

Surprised !

Did you hear about the midget, who for a laugh walk between the tall blonde models legs? He ended up with a fair crack in the mouth....
13:33 Thu 02nd May 20131 answer, last by LochNessMonster 12:45 Fri 03rd May 2013
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LochNessMonster

N Power Beware Folks !

Had an interesting chat with one of their reps in Morrisons. Tried to con me into switching to them from Scottish Power. 1. They take your details and fill out a small form with you average units etc,...
10:32 Sat 27th Apr 20133 answers, last by AlwaysConfused 10:48 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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LochNessMonster

Roaming Shopping Trolleys ?

Why can't some people leave shopping trolleys in the supermarket ? See someone walk with one 2 mile from the store yesterday. It had 3 bags in it and the wheel had locked when they had left the store....
07:31 Tue 09th Apr 20139 answers, last by RATTER15 11:21 Tue 09th Apr 2013
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LochNessMonster

Is There Something You Can't Do Without ?

Music is mine.
07:51 Sun 07th Apr 201345 answers, last by tamaris 09:28 Fri 10th May 2013
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LochNessMonster

Football Coupon ?

The wife looked up from her football coupon and asked, "What do you think will be the biggest draws this week, love?" Seeing as I was looking out of the window at the time, watching her knickers...
07:43 Sun 07th Apr 20131 answer, last by Sqad 07:44 Sun 07th Apr 2013
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LochNessMonster

Reclassified

Government cut backs have seen a blind fellow having to join the RAF as a parachutist? When asked how he would know when to bend his knees on landing he replied the dog lead will become slack.
13:22 Fri 05th Apr 20131 answer, last by LochNessMonster 12:14 Sat 06th Apr 2013

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