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marval

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marval

Milkman

A milkman, who is dying in hospital, is surrounded by his two sons, his daughter, his wife and a nurse. He says: To you, Peter, I leave the Mayfair houses. To you, my dear daughter, I leave the...
17:04 Mon 09th Sep 201320 answers, last by jim360 22:22 Mon 09th Sep 2013
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marval

Jewish Mother

The first Jewish President of the United States calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down over the holidays. She says, "I'd like to, but it's so much trouble. I mean, I have to get a cab...
11:03 Mon 09th Sep 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 14:37 Mon 09th Sep 2013
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marval

Ill Repute

This guy goes out with his buddies for a night on the town and they cap off the festivities by going to a house of ill repute. A week later, the guy visits his doctor complaining of a large green lump...
22:34 Sat 07th Sep 20138 answers, last by frugalfred 21:17 Sun 08th Sep 2013
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Retiring Farmer

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses...
16:41 Sat 07th Sep 20132 answers, last by hina7963 05:00 Tue 10th Sep 2013
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Oops

A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."...
20:53 Fri 06th Sep 20133 answers, last by Canary42 23:59 Fri 06th Sep 2013
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Procrastination

What do we want? Procrastination When do we want it? Next week. Doorbells. Don't knock it until you've tried it. My kitchen appliances are involved in a bitter race row. Apparently it all started when...
18:02 Fri 06th Sep 20133 answers, last by rosyposy 22:46 Fri 06th Sep 2013
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Smiles

When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy. When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him. But when a...
13:56 Fri 06th Sep 20131 answer, last by jim360 14:01 Fri 06th Sep 2013
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Not Long

A young couple in love finally got all approvals and set their wedding date. The frisky bride-to-be cuddles up to her fiancee and said, "Darling, you know I want to fulfill this fantasy of mine to...
18:03 Thu 05th Sep 20136 answers, last by puddle-duck 22:45 Thu 05th Sep 2013
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And There's More

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to...
16:19 Thu 05th Sep 20132 answers, last by maggiebee 17:07 Thu 05th Sep 2013
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A Church

A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entry and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the...
13:43 Wed 04th Sep 20131 answer, last by pixie373 17:34 Wed 04th Sep 2013
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Pole

A guy meets a childhood pal. "What are you doing for yourself these days?" "I'm a fireman," his old friend replies. "Yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman," says the guy. "Well," says his...
22:02 Tue 03rd Sep 20132 answers, last by berniecuddles 13:23 Wed 04th Sep 2013
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Cereal

One day, 3 unemployed factory workers heard that a large food company was enlarging and needed more staff. So they went downtown to see if they could get themselves a job. After filing out their...
18:26 Mon 02nd Sep 20134 answers, last by Psybbo 18:32 Mon 02nd Sep 2013
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Kids

A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I'd like a little brother," the boy said. "Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?"...
15:45 Mon 02nd Sep 20131 answer, last by jim360 17:25 Mon 02nd Sep 2013
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Oops

John meets Bill at the bar and he is looking somewhat sheepish and embarrassed. Bill says, "Hey John, whats wrong?" John says, "I received a party invitation last night and it plainly said 'Black Tie'...
12:55 Sun 01st Sep 20136 answers, last by cupid04 19:18 Sun 01st Sep 2013
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Arrr

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some rum. The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got...
12:42 Sun 01st Sep 20132 answers, last by frugalfred 17:16 Sun 01st Sep 2013
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Words

A mother was worried that her three-year-old son was unusually precocious, and took him to a psychiatrist. "Right," said the shrink, "We'll just try a few simple tests." To the boy, he said "Say a few...
21:01 Sat 31st Aug 20131 answer, last by Jemisa 23:31 Sat 31st Aug 2013
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How To Tell The Weather

To tell what the weather is, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is...
18:49 Sat 31st Aug 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:57 Sat 31st Aug 2013
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Dogs And Men

How Dogs and Men Are the Same 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what's bothering them....
13:58 Sat 31st Aug 20136 answers, last by berniecuddles 16:15 Sat 31st Aug 2013
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Little Johnny

Little Johnny asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalogue. In a little while, he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila". "T-e-q-u-i-l-a,"...
17:16 Fri 30th Aug 20132 answers, last by Roo_power 19:47 Fri 30th Aug 2013
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Oops

Seeing a picture of his wife in the nude hanging at the art show, he demanded of her: "Did you really pose for that?" "Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "of course not. He painted it from memory."...
16:36 Thu 29th Aug 20136 answers, last by frugalfred 17:50 Thu 29th Aug 2013

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