Donate SIGN UP

marval

341 to 360 of 3998

First Previous 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

I Decided

I decided to take the bus this morning. The driver left the keys in the ignition when he went to the toilet....
20:55 Tue 23rd Oct 20182 answers, last by 1ozzy 21:30 Tue 23rd Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Caught

I have just been caught trying to smuggle twelve cases of fortified wine in to the country. I am worried I might be deported....
17:24 Tue 23rd Oct 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 18:09 Tue 23rd Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

A New

A new Ice Cream Shop has opened in Palestine. It is called Walls of Jericho....
21:42 Mon 22nd Oct 20187 answers, last by zebo 10:10 Tue 23rd Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Shocked

The man who lives on the farm next to me just put some strange metal wire around his field. For the last few days I just couldn’t put my finger on it, and when I finally did I was shocked. I had a...
21:02 Mon 15th Oct 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 17:38 Tue 16th Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Great Canal Journeys

Don't forget that Great Canal journeys is on tonight. Channel 4 at 8.00pm. Tim and Pru are on the Nile this time....
16:16 Sun 07th Oct 20188 answers, last by marval 21:55 Sun 07th Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Vain

My elder brother is really vain. My earliest memories are of him standing in front of a mirror. Until I was four years old, I thought he was twins....
11:58 Sun 07th Oct 20186 answers, last by Hopkirk 13:17 Sun 07th Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Lost Search

Ever since I got this new pc, (Windows10) I have lost the search facility. Has it gone, or is it, just hiding?Any help to find it will be gratefully received.Thank you....
11:45 Sun 07th Oct 20189 answers, last by Jasonroy11 04:35 Wed 18th Sep 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Goodbye Ray

Ray Galton of Galton and Simpson has died. I used to watch Steptoe and Son. Who can forget Tony Hancock's "A pint, that's nearly an armful." RIP Ray....
21:31 Sat 06th Oct 20183 answers, last by Mamyalynne 21:40 Sat 06th Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Two Blondes

Two blondes were sat in traffic on the road. One says “It is normally much quicker than this.” “Last time we got a lift with Dave though.” the driver replies. “What’s that got to do with...
15:20 Sat 06th Oct 201813 answers, last by Patsy33 21:43 Sat 06th Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Hate

I hate these online dating scams. So does my new Russian boyfriend, who can’t wait to meet me now I have sent the 10,000 pounds for his flight....
11:41 Sat 06th Oct 20186 answers, last by marval 12:15 Sat 06th Oct 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Tried

I tried to get on the London Eye today but it was not working, it was on the blink. I was grateful when the judge sent me down. I sleep easier on a softer pillow. I asked my mum what she had bought me...
16:30 Wed 26th Sep 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 17:24 Wed 26th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

My Friend

My friend said to me, “I really fancy a McDonald’s.” I thought, “That’s a weird fetish.” Since I fell out with my neighbour, who’s hard of hearing, I have been receiving deaf threats all...
21:00 Tue 25th Sep 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 21:05 Tue 25th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Dogging

I have just walked past a pub called the Dog Inn. I can’t imagine the shenanigans that go on in their car park. I just rang the emergency services and said, “There’s just been an explosion at...
21:37 Sat 22nd Sep 20189 answers, last by zebo 20:55 Mon 24th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Father Murphy Plays Golf

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, "hoover" under his breath. On the second hole, the ball went straight...
17:39 Fri 21st Sep 20183 answers, last by rowanwitch 17:59 Fri 21st Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Shopping

I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked “Add to cart.” I have just found a chocolate bar on the side of the road. It was a Drifter. I asked my boss in DFS what he...
18:38 Thu 20th Sep 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 21:45 Thu 20th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Goodbye Tinker

The actor Dudley Sutton who played Tinker in Lovejoy has died. He was 85, I loved that character. RIP Dudley....
21:47 Sun 16th Sep 20187 answers, last by andy-hughes 12:27 Mon 17th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

In The Pub

I was talking to a man in the pub tonight. I said, “I got a parking ticket today.” He said, “Really? Where did you get it?” I said, “Under my windscreen wiper.” On a recent trip to...
22:20 Sat 15th Sep 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 15:06 Sun 16th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Threesome

I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles. It was a love triangle As expected, Doctor Who’s new herb range has been a success. After all, he is a Thyme Lord. The traditional Haggis recipe is...
20:47 Thu 13th Sep 201812 answers, last by Shaglene 07:58 Fri 14th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Groan

A man was driving along a road, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The...
16:34 Sun 09th Sep 20184 answers, last by retrocop 22:35 Sun 09th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Won

For nearly a week now I have had a man in my garden singing, “Figaro, Figaro, Figaro.” I won a tenor on the lottery. I used to be lazy, but that all changed when I stepped in a pool of glue. I...
17:53 Fri 07th Sep 20182 answers, last by stocksman 12:16 Sat 08th Sep 2018

341 to 360 of 3998

First Previous 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Next Last