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marval

661 to 680 of 3998

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marval

I Quit

Peter and Alfred Nussbaum were tailors and partners in the firm Nussbaum Brothers; and after many years they decided to Anglicise their names and henceforth the firm should be known as the Nuss...
17:50 Wed 12th Jul 20172 answers, last by Togo 18:25 Wed 12th Jul 2017
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marval

If

If there is one thing I have learnt in life. It is to keep the haemorrhoid cream and the Deep Heat rub well apart in the bathroom cabinet....
13:14 Sun 09th Jul 20172 answers, last by marval 13:26 Sun 09th Jul 2017
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marval

I Am

I am the best in the world at curling up into little balls of water and dropping from the sky. I am the raining champion....
15:55 Sat 08th Jul 20175 answers, last by Patsy33 18:54 Sat 08th Jul 2017
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marval

I

I went to a restaurant last night. I ordered the chicken. I couldn’t eat it though. It really tasted fowl....
17:31 Thu 06th Jul 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 18:23 Thu 06th Jul 2017
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marval

I Saw

I saw a sign in a shop, “Butterfly nets £10” I didn't even know insects could play the lottery....
16:54 Fri 30th Jun 20178 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:39 Fri 30th Jun 2017
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marval

I Won

I won an auction on eBay that was collection only. "Where do you live mate so I can pop up?" I asked the seller. "Towcester" he replied....
21:24 Thu 29th Jun 201714 answers, last by marval 16:35 Fri 30th Jun 2017
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marval

I Asked

I asked a Scottish friend of mine. "Is the monster in the loch a vegetarian?" He replied. "Not Nessie celery."...
17:36 Tue 27th Jun 20172 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:41 Tue 27th Jun 2017
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marval

Naughty Doctor Sqad

Doctor Sqad had just completed his examination of the gorgeous red-haired beauty. "I would suggest to you, young lady," began the medic, as he regained some of his professional dignity, "that you...
21:58 Mon 26th Jun 2017
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marval

I Bet

I bet my mate twenty pounds just now that I could make him speak like a Red Indian. "How?" He replied. “Pay up,” I said....
15:06 Sun 25th Jun 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 19:56 Sun 25th Jun 2017
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marval

I Just

"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her...
21:44 Sat 24th Jun 20178 answers, last by Jackdaw33 19:23 Sun 25th Jun 2017
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marval

Brought

A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called Stinky" when it was in her room but called "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," her father asked her, "why do you have two names for...
15:10 Sat 24th Jun 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 15:27 Sat 24th Jun 2017
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marval

If You

If you want a job in a moisturiser company. Best advice I can give you. Apply daily....
17:28 Fri 23rd Jun 20179 answers, last by Patsy33 21:24 Fri 23rd Jun 2017
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marval

I Am

I am giving up using spray deodorants at the end of the year. Roll on 2018....
21:21 Thu 22nd Jun 20173 answers, last by Shaglene 07:57 Fri 23rd Jun 2017
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marval

My Friend

A friend of mine was killed in a freak accident after tripping over a jigsaw. The cause of death is unconfirmed as police are still piecing together the evidence....
15:27 Wed 21st Jun 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 15:35 Wed 21st Jun 2017
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marval

Curse

A statuesque blonde walked into a dinner party on the arm of a bald, elderly, scowling tycoon. A society lady approached the young lovely to admire the huge shimmering gemstone hanging around her...
17:01 Mon 19th Jun 2017
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marval

Stuck

I went to our local fish and chip shop late last night. I said "What have you got left?" He replied, "Just these two. The first is actually a type of shark. The second has been there for a while!" I...
14:53 Sun 18th Jun 201713 answers, last by cupid04 14:27 Wed 21st Jun 2017
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marval

I Was

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper. Along came a guy and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again....
18:02 Thu 15th Jun 201712 answers, last by Hopkirk 20:08 Fri 16th Jun 2017
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marval

I Used

I used to transport large amounts of shallots between Liverpool and Manchester by canal. I was an onion bargee....
16:37 Tue 13th Jun 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 11:08 Thu 15th Jun 2017
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marval

I Have

I have just read a very good book. It is called "I Love Crowds." By: Morris Merrier...
16:10 Mon 12th Jun 201723 answers, last by marval 15:42 Tue 13th Jun 2017
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marval

Last Night

Last night, I spent five thousand pounds on a reincarnation seminar. I figured, What the hell; you only live once....
16:49 Sun 11th Jun 20172 answers, last by Quoi 11:19 Mon 12th Jun 2017

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