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marval

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marval

Why?

Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his Stilton....
16:19 Fri 10th Feb 20178 answers, last by marval 18:21 Fri 10th Feb 2017
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marval

Carry On Barging

Will any one be watching this, it is on Channel five tomorrow at 8pm. It could be interesting. http://www.radiotimes.com/tv-programme/e/fjrd69/celebrity-carry-on-barging--series-1-episode-1...
22:38 Thu 09th Feb 20176 answers, last by gingejbee 12:06 Fri 10th Feb 2017
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marval

Please Your Majesty

Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber has asked the queen if she would lend him one of her dogs. He is planning to do a canine version of a George Gershwin opera. It will be called "Corgi and Bess."...
17:42 Tue 07th Feb 20173 answers, last by Dinapal 17:52 Tue 07th Feb 2017
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marval

No More Love Lessons

The night before their marriage, Jerry called on his innocent bride-to-be at her apartment. "There's nothing to be nervous about," he assured her, "making love is very simple." "Tonight I'll...
18:18 Mon 06th Feb 2017
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marval

How Many?

Sign seen in a clothing store. "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."...
16:58 Sun 05th Feb 20171 answer, last by Chipchopper 18:19 Sun 05th Feb 2017
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marval

I Work

I work in a tailors, today a man came in and insisted I sell him the material, tools and pattern for his outfit. He refused to let me measure him and make it up for him. I thought, suit yourself....
15:56 Sun 05th Feb 2017
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marval

I Went

I went into a DIY shop. I said: "I'd like a mousetrap. Please be quick, I have a train to catch." "I'm sorry, sir, we don't have any that big," he replied....
15:38 Sat 04th Feb 20177 answers, last by elliemay1 22:34 Sat 04th Feb 2017
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marval

I Want

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married. She said: I want to keep my house. He said that's fine with me. She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac. He said: That's fine with me. She...
21:59 Fri 03rd Feb 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 22:10 Fri 03rd Feb 2017
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marval

Ouch

A young couple is sleeping. Suddenly the wife wakes up and screams. Her husband also wakes up and almost jumps out from the bed because of the loud scream. He quickly realizes that it was just his...
19:38 Fri 03rd Feb 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 19:42 Fri 03rd Feb 2017
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marval

Round The World

After a win on the lottery I decided on a round the world trip and I kept a diary. Went to France saw the tower in Paris, It was an eyeful. Went to Denmark saw Lego land. I didn't know what to make of...
15:48 Fri 03rd Feb 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 22:57 Fri 03rd Feb 2017
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marval

Spam

I hear that spam is making a comeback which I'm really pleased about. I've been eating it every day of my life, cooked in a pan with a little bit of oil. But just lately I've started to wonder. Am I...
18:00 Thu 02nd Feb 20175 answers, last by EDDIE51 22:53 Thu 02nd Feb 2017
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marval

What Can I Dowwwwwwww

A little girl opens the door to find a priest with a collection tin. "What can I do for you, Father?" "I'm collecting for the orphanage." "Just a moment," says the little girl, closing the door. The...
18:03 Wed 01st Feb 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 20:51 Wed 01st Feb 2017
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marval

Lionel Ritchie

Lionel Ritchie is to open a chain of Muslim butchers shops The shops will be known as, Halal - is it meat your looking for?...
16:14 Sun 29th Jan 2017
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marval

Naked?

For Father's Nicholas's 60th birthday, the congregation of his church decided to give him a present of a new suit. Father Nicholas was so moved by the gift that the following Sunday he stood before...
22:14 Wed 25th Jan 2017
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marval

Don't

Don't book a holiday online to go catching seafood in Nigeria. It's a fishing scam....
16:12 Tue 24th Jan 20172 answers, last by Tilly2 19:12 Tue 24th Jan 2017
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marval

A Bartender

A bartender who came last in a cocktail competition has been involved in a serious accident. He's ok, just been badly shaken....
15:35 Tue 24th Jan 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 16:02 Tue 24th Jan 2017
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marval

A Warning

West London police wish to alert local residents about the activities of the infamous cross-eyed burglar. If you see this man staring in your windows, warn the people next door....
22:38 Sat 21st Jan 20173 answers, last by Oldred 22:42 Sat 21st Jan 2017
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marval

My Wife

Two old guys were chatting. One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV." The other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" The...
21:56 Thu 19th Jan 20171 answer, last by cupid04 23:58 Sat 21st Jan 2017
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marval

I Hate Sex

I hate sex in movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled the mood....
20:54 Thu 19th Jan 20176 answers, last by Zacs-Master 00:01 Sun 22nd Jan 2017
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marval

Barber

A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. "Officer," he asks, "have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?" "No, I haven't. What's the...
18:09 Tue 17th Jan 20179 answers, last by NBarb 11:24 Thu 19th Dec 2019

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