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marval

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marval
The police are on my case. I wish they would get off it. I am going abroad tomorrow....
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marval
Collie + Lhasa Apso Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. Spitz + Chow Chow Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot. Pointer + Setter Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. Great Pyrenees...
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marval
What is the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. What's the definition of macho? Jogging home from your vasectomy What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?...
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marval
This made me smile, I love the dog.
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marval
"Your dog has been barking for the last three hours", I said to my neighbour this morning. "I have got a serious hangover, and I am trying to get some sleep." "It would probably help if you got out of...
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marval
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I...
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marval
Dear Alcohol, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and...
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marval
We have had fish puns, now let's try animal and bird ones. This could be hawkward or pandamonium, but give it a go....
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marval
A woman goes to the super market. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. After doing this a number of times, a...
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marval
There's young fashion designer who has decided to combine the national dress of India with the carefree styling of Polynesia. He calls it his "Sari, Sarong Number."...
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marval
An elephant and a crocodile were swimming in the Amazon, when the elephant spots a turtle sunning himself on a rock. The elephant walks over to the turtle, picks him up in his trunk and hurls him far...
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marval
A woman walked into a pet store "I haven’t got much money", she told the assistant. "So I’d like to know if you’ve got any kittens you’ll let go cheap." "I’d let them, Madam.” said the...
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marval
The driver of a vehicle involved in a smash was not wearing a seat belt and as he shot through the windscreen both ears were severed. An hour later at the hospital the surgeon decided to graft another...
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marval
A man is sitting by his car at the side of the road lookng unhappy. A passer-by sees his glum face and asks what the problem is. "I've locked myself out of my car." replies the man. "That's not a...
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marval
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the...
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marval
Could somebody please help me on this one. Clue: Metal plate to protect the sole of a shoe. I have S-G Thank you...
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marval
A Tesco manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, madam, we haven't had any for quite some time now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more." Alarmed by what was being said,...
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marval
I used to have a pylon at the back of garden, not the prettiest sight. I was glad when our cables were put underground. Apparently some people would not agree with me. Is this hobby on a par with...
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marval
Little Tommy was sitting on a park bench munching on one Mars bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that choccy stuff isn't good for...
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marval
This made me smile.

1221 to 1240 of 3998

First Previous 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 Next Last