Donate SIGN UP

marval

1301 to 1320 of 3998

First Previous 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

Went

My door-bell went this morning. That's the third time this week it's been nicked....
14:23 Sat 13th Jun 20153 answers, last by aelmpvw 17:41 Sat 13th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Groan

After a heavy day's digging at the archaeological site in Norway, the researchers uncovered a priceless statue of the ancient Norse thunder god. It was a wondrous piece of artwork - He had bulging...
20:50 Fri 12th Jun 20156 answers, last by stuey 01:49 Sat 13th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Forgot

It has been annoying me for ages because I forgot the name of the actor that played Forrest Gump. Then someone told me today. T.Hanks....
19:42 Fri 12th Jun 20151 answer, last by boxtops 20:07 Fri 12th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Have Noticed

I have noticed that chess players always close doors behind them. It must be because they don't like draughts....
17:52 Fri 12th Jun 20153 answers, last by excelsior-1 17:59 Fri 12th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

She Was

A Scottish lady come round and decorated my bathroom. All the while singing Eclipse of the Heart. She was a Bonnie Tiler. Eclipse of the Heart...
19:57 Thu 11th Jun 20155 answers, last by MrMartell 16:27 Fri 12th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Had To

I've had to leave my friend because of her obsession with Daniel Craig. It's a shame, there was a bond between us....
18:51 Thu 11th Jun 20152 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:53 Thu 11th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Have

I have just bought a new reversible jacket. I can't wait to see how it turns out....
18:39 Thu 11th Jun 20152 answers, last by Svejk 18:47 Thu 11th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

My Friend

My friend made a bet with me that I couldn't make a joke about a flower. But I rose to the challenge....
18:33 Thu 11th Jun 20154 answers, last by zebo 21:58 Thu 11th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Broke

I broke an upholsterers fingers last week. I don't think he'll ever recover....
17:36 Thu 11th Jun 20156 answers, last by marval 18:24 Thu 11th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Don't Work

Those push-up bras don't work. I bought one, and I can still only manage ten or so before my arms get tired....
17:23 Thu 11th Jun 20151 answer, last by excelsior-1 18:02 Thu 11th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Please Don't Stare

This made me laugh, it is sad really. People do sue for the daftest things. Here is the story. http://news.sky.com/story/1498970/actress-sued-for-staring-at-man-through-tv...
17:35 Wed 10th Jun 201511 answers, last by Baldric 08:50 Thu 11th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

How Is Business?

In a small town, a man had just opened a small shop selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbour pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?" "What do you mean strange?"...
20:58 Tue 09th Jun 20154 answers, last by Bazile 17:08 Wed 10th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Was

I was in bed last night and I heard someone break in downstairs. I didn't know which room they were in, so I took a stab in the dark. Got the toe rag....
14:11 Sun 07th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

A Ban

David Cameron has just announced he wants to put a ban on alcohol in the house of commons. He idea was met with a chorus of booze....
13:23 Sun 07th Jun 201510 answers, last by marval 13:38 Sun 07th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Saw

I saw this really fit bloke in the nightclub last night and he was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt. So, I made a move on him....
12:52 Sun 07th Jun 201510 answers, last by Svejk 20:39 Sun 07th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Came

I came home today to find a parcel waiting on my doorstep. I opened it and was delighted to discover it was a box of Stabilo Boss coloured pens. It was the higlight of my day...
21:52 Sat 06th Jun 20151 answer, last by excelsior-1 11:11 Sun 07th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Played

I played a gig in a prison yesterday. They were a very captive audience....
17:34 Sat 06th Jun 201512 answers, last by Caribeing 20:01 Sat 06th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

I Never

Apparently my local news had an announcement on how to load a gun. But I never got the bulletin....
15:55 Sat 06th Jun 20153 answers, last by marval 17:31 Sat 06th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Bet

I've got a bet on with my friend about the number of Indian people who are taking the 10.15 from Bangalore to Mumbai. There's a lot riding on it....
20:48 Fri 05th Jun 2015
Avatar Image
marval

Top Tip

Never attempt to operate a chainsaw whilst fairly drunk. There's a good chance you'll end up legless....
18:01 Fri 05th Jun 20155 answers, last by bibblebub 18:20 Fri 05th Jun 2015

1301 to 1320 of 3998

First Previous 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 Next Last