A man invited a woman over to his home for a seven-course meal.
"That’s lovely," she said. "What are we going to have?"
He said, "A hot dog and a six-pack of beer."...
A man was sitting on a plane when a woman came to sit next to him. Ever the charmer, he asked. "Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?" "Yes," she said, "but I...
I have been spending a little time looking at property I can't afford. I came across this little hovel, it is so posh it even has a television in all the bathrooms. My question is if you had the money...
A lady rebels at a man, who is immodestly staring at her in a bus. Mister, you are staring at me as if you were undressing me in your imagination. Excuse me, lady, in my imagination I have already...
Little Elizabeth and her mother were having lunch together, and the mother, who always tried to impress facts upon her young daughter, said: "These little sardines, Elizabeth, are sometimes eaten by...
The good Yorkshire wife apologised to her unexpected guest for serving the fruit cake without cheese. The little boy of the family slipped quietly away from the table for a moment, and returned with a...
An Aston Villa fan walks into a Birmingham pub and spots a guy wearing a Manchester United shirt. "Drinks for everyone here, barman," shouts the Aston Villa fan. "Except for Mr. Manchester United."...
A rich couple hired a new chauffeur. The woman asked him to take her out shopping and was very shaken by the experience. Back home, she pleaded with her husband. "Please dear, you must sack this new...
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was...
The census taker knocked on old Miss Barker’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss...
At the urging of his doctor, an elderly man moved to the countryside. After settling in, he met a neighbour who was also an older man. "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It certainly is," the man...
I feel like my body has got totally out of shape. So I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,...
A young woman was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when she noticed an old lady following her around, but she ignored her and continued on. Finally she went to the checkout line,...
One of my neighbours owns several cats. On a recent visit, she introduced them to me. "That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alogue." "Where on earth did you get such unusual...
The murderer was holed up in his house, and the police team was trying to get him out. A policeman got on the loud hailer and said, "Come on out, or I'm going to come in there and drag you out!" The...
Paddy was spotted driving along the road at a steady speed, when he suddenly indicated right and pulled off onto the hard shoulder. He quickly jumped out of the car and opened the boot. From a large...
A woman who was nine months pregnant was browsing at a car boot sale. When she stopped at a stall, the owner asked her if she knew whether she was having a boy or a girl. The woman told her she...
