50 Shades of Hay - erotic Amish novel "50 Shades of Oy Vey" - Erotic Jewish Novel "50 Shades of Ole" - erotic secrets of the Matador "50 Shades of Leis" - Erotic novel of Hawaiian culture 50 Shades of...
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye...
Once a pirate named Yates
Danced the jig for all of his mates.
He slipped on his cutlas,
And made himself nutless,
And now he's quite useless on dates....
Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required"...
A sadistic young cook, Miss McDillet
Gets very upset when you fill it.
When she's done and hops off,
She lops your thing off,
And sautés it up in a skillet....
A lawyer was reading a wealthy man's will to the people mentioned in it. "To my wife Claire, who stood by me through the rough times as well as the good, I leave you the house, the cars and £5...
Dear Abby, Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally did it. Dear Abby, My boyfriend is going to be twenty...
The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase "Tuti Homini."... Blessed be Mankind. A woman's rights group approached the Pope the next day to mention that he blessed all...
A kangaroo bounds round the Australian outback. When it comes to a halt, a little penguin climbs out of the kangaroo's pouch. It looks awfully giddy and is promptly sick. Meanwhile, a little kangaroo...
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, "What on earth is that all about?" The farmer says, "We had a fire in the...
Two frogs sat on Robinson Crusoe's back.
One said to the other, “I have to go now but let's meet again on Friday!"
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger....
A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame. I put some body spray on last night, but I only managed to pull Anne Robinson. It must have been the weakest Lynx. My best mate is called...
Did you hear about the romance between the two blood vessels? They loved in vein. Why can't you hear rabbits having sex? They have cotton balls. “We had gay burglars last night. They broke in and...
A business man enters into a large Las Vegas casino followed by his well-groomed hunting dog. The two make their way to a roulette table, and he sits down with his dog at his side. As the next game...
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired." = I'm tired. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd...
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers. Yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the...
Two easy lessons in learning how to teach the Irish gig 1. Serve alcohol 2. Lock toilet doors Did you hear about the Irishman that tried to blow up a car? He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe What...
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? Because they can’t bury them in the air! What dog wears contact lenses? A cock-eyed spaniel...
What do you get when you cross a dog and a phone? A golden receiver. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause...
Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or something like that. I called mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I...