A lady enters a carpet warehouse and, as all the assistants are busy with other customers, she decides to browse among the many articles on display until she comes to a beautiful Persian hand-woven...
My daughter attended her last ever morning only place at school yesterday. She will go full time after the Easter hols. While she is looking forward to it, I am putting a very brave face on for her...
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one...
Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made watch cases, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so...
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out...
THE NEW PASSWORD A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password. Something he would use to log-on....
big day tomorrow we celebrate 56 years of marriage and we are still going strong no big celebration just a nice dinner in a restaurant with the two of us
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of...
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I...
My son went out in some new leather trainers recently, fell asleep at a friends house and when he woke up, found one of his mates had drawn on his white leather trainers in black marker! Should we...
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours ?" "I'll...
A man goes to his psychiatrist. "Doctor, you've got to help me," he says. "I keep thinking that I'm a well-known psychoanalyst." "How long has this been going on?" asks the shrink. "Well," the man...
A car gets a puncture on the motorway one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the boot. She takes out two cardboard men,...
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but...
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated because of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more...
At a nursing home a group of OAP's were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have become so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My...
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious someone was at home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card and wrote,...
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said,...
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, however, he spent the weekend (and his money) partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife...
