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McMouse

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McMouse

NATO partners - you're joking!

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to...
16:17 Fri 03rd Apr 20091 answer, last by chillipepper 21:10 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Should a child witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mummy so he could see...
15:54 Fri 03rd Apr 20091 answer, last by Blueflame 15:47 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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McMouse

al-Gebra suspect detained

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a...
15:46 Fri 03rd Apr 20094 answers, last by DEN53 20:43 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Overheard in Church

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment...
15:39 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

How very wise

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she...
14:34 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

A Woman had a facelift for her 50th birthday

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but...
14:27 Fri 03rd Apr 20094 answers, last by terambulan 19:37 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

When Cardboard Men Come In Handy

A car gets a puncture on the motorway one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the boot. She takes out two cardboard men,...
14:23 Fri 03rd Apr 20093 answers, last by carlton23 23:05 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

In my next life

I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go...
14:19 Fri 03rd Apr 20095 answers, last by bigmamma 14:46 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Tommy Cooper again

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
11:41 Thu 02nd Apr 20092 answers, last by Mortartube 13:32 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

More Tommy Cooper

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best Before End'
11:32 Thu 02nd Apr 20092 answers, last by Mortartube 13:32 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Tommy Cooper lives

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal."
11:30 Thu 02nd Apr 20094 answers, last by Steve.5 13:59 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Diagnosis

My friend took his wife to GP as she was behaving strangely. Doctor was puzzled and thought she was suffering either from dementia or HIV/Aids. My friend asked for prognosis and was told: "Take her...
11:24 Thu 02nd Apr 20092 answers, last by sqad617 13:51 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

A young monk arrives at the monastery

.He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original...
11:17 Thu 02nd Apr 20091 answer, last by Bumpkin_Clumber 21:22 Mon 12th Mar 2012
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McMouse

Can you

name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
11:09 Thu 02nd Apr 200918 answers, last by grasscarp 00:05 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Why is

This an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it.
11:05 Thu 02nd Apr 20097 answers, last by squarebear 11:52 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

What should he do?

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't...
11:03 Thu 02nd Apr 200911 answers, last by teddysbears 13:50 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Part Two

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich ?" The man sighs, pauses, and replies, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big a rse and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
10:55 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Part Two

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich ?" The man sighs, pauses, and replies, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big a rse and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
10:55 Thu 02nd Apr 20092 answers, last by McMouse 10:59 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

be careful what you wish for

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours ?" "I'll...
10:52 Thu 02nd Apr 20096 answers, last by Beatrice35 15:30 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Mistaken Identity

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Nottinghamshire. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes....
10:34 Thu 02nd Apr 2009

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