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melv16

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melv16

I've Just...

... been sacked from my job at the pet shop. I was caught with my hands in the trill......
14:45 Tue 12th May 20204 answers, last by Patsy33 17:31 Tue 12th May 2020
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melv16

Can Anyone...

...tell me who played Forest Gump? T.hanks...
17:13 Mon 11th May 20205 answers, last by Spicerack 19:46 Tue 12th May 2020
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melv16

I've Just...

... seen a one armed man walk into a second hand shop...
10:35 Mon 11th May 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 12:44 Mon 11th May 2020
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melv16

I've Just...

...read the history of dance. There's a twist at the end...
11:19 Fri 08th May 20204 answers, last by mallyh 12:49 Fri 08th May 2020
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melv16

She Was....

... only the Town Clerk's daughter, but she let the Borough Surveyor.
18:58 Thu 07th May 202016 answers, last by Denton 20:58 Fri 08th May 2020
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melv16

I Went To..

..the book shop today and asked for a book on how to make gravy. "It's out of stock", said the Owner. "That's the one," I replied....
20:09 Wed 06th May 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 23:05 Wed 06th May 2020
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melv16

Mixing...

Alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird....
19:16 Wed 06th May 202021 answers, last by Patsy33 23:43 Wed 06th May 2020
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melv16

We Were..

...so poor when I was a kid. We had to have ordinary K for breakfast...
09:48 Tue 05th May 202012 answers, last by Patsy33 12:49 Tue 05th May 2020
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melv16

I've Left..

...my job playing triangle in a reggae band. It was one ting after another...
10:25 Mon 04th May 20203 answers, last by NickorWan 12:58 Mon 04th May 2020
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melv16

German Eagle Owls

http://uhu.webcam.pixtura.de Chicks been fed at the moment....
14:25 Sun 03rd May 20204 answers, last by melv16 14:44 Tue 05th May 2020
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melv16

I Locked...

...my wife and dog in the boot of my car. Guess who was pleased to see me when I let them out....
18:06 Sat 02nd May 20202 answers, last by Patsy33 18:11 Sat 02nd May 2020
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melv16

Leicester Peregrines.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1255087361148497920 Trouble int mill at Leicester sote...
15:14 Tue 28th Apr 20207 answers, last by Mamyalynne 16:07 Wed 29th Apr 2020
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melv16

Bless You..

My local Vicar has corona. After watching Trump I decided to force feed him a bottle of Dettol. Today I was arrested and charged with a bleach of the Priest
12:35 Fri 24th Apr 20202 answers, last by marval 22:04 Fri 24th Apr 2020
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melv16

I Knew A Bloke....

...Who went under the name of Steppenwolf. It was a pseudonym of course..he was born Toby Wild.
12:25 Fri 24th Apr 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:47 Fri 24th Apr 2020
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melv16

Only...

....35 claps to Christmas.
11:16 Fri 24th Apr 2020
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melv16

To The Person..

..who stole my case of Red Bull, I hope you can sleep at night.
07:35 Fri 24th Apr 2020
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melv16

How Do You...

... torture a Scotsman? Put on a Jimmy Shand record, then nail his feet to the floor....
07:14 Thu 23rd Apr 20202 answers, last by marval 12:26 Thu 23rd Apr 2020
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melv16

Me And My..

...mate went to play football in a quarry. I won 3-2 on aggregate.
20:22 Tue 21st Apr 20204 answers, last by Hopkirk 21:11 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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melv16

Who'd Have Thought It.

...
17:47 Tue 21st Apr 202012 answers, last by ladybirder 18:27 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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melv16

Gamekeepers:-(

https://mobile.twitter.com/ranger__nick/status/1251906927401074691/photo/2 How can anyone do a job like theirs....
19:16 Mon 20th Apr 20205 answers, last by iluvmargie 13:21 Tue 21st Apr 2020

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