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Patsy33

1421 to 1440 of 1972

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Patsy33

Phobia.

Therapist said: "I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?" Me: "Can't say I do." Therapist: "That's one of them.":)...
10:28 Fri 30th Dec 20169 answers, last by Patsy33 12:21 Fri 30th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Rude.

My daughter in- law's sister works in a London hotel and had the ( cough).. pleasure of meeting Duncan Bannatyne and his family. The dining area was full but he insisted he wanted a table Now! Girl...
13:20 Thu 29th Dec 201649 answers, last by anneasquith 23:52 Thu 29th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

New Year.

My new years resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorants. Roll on 2017!:)
13:05 Wed 28th Dec 20163 answers, last by marval 23:00 Wed 28th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Books.

To everyone who received books from me for Christmas. They're due back at the library next Monday...
19:50 Tue 27th Dec 20162 answers, last by vulcan42 22:53 Tue 27th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

It's Miracle!

Some people say miracles don't happen. Well let me tell you , they do! Having been without out my dishwasher for about 14 months after it wouldn't drain, yesterday I thought I'd try it. I couldn't...
12:51 Sat 24th Dec 201629 answers, last by whiskeryron 15:15 Sat 24th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Rolling Pin.

A wife hits her husband with a rolling pin. Husband says, "What was that for?" Wife says, " I found a piece of paper with Jenny written on it" "Oh, that was a horse I done yesterday" Wife apologises....
08:29 Fri 23rd Dec 201610 answers, last by Patsy33 19:08 Fri 23rd Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Struck Off.

A very sad day today ...
23:11 Thu 22nd Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Struck Off.

A very sad day today ...
23:10 Thu 22nd Dec 201612 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:53 Fri 23rd Dec 2016
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Patsy33

I Hate...

I hate the lollipop lady. She makes me cross!
18:57 Thu 22nd Dec 20163 answers, last by Hopkirk 19:52 Thu 22nd Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Warning!

DON'T HAVE PHONE SEX. You might get hearing aids...........
14:21 Thu 22nd Dec 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 23:30 Thu 22nd Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Two-Story House.

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a...
23:27 Wed 21st Dec 20161 answer, last by paddyk 10:20 Thu 22nd Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Botched Job.

When the doctor had botched up my operation, my heart was in my mouth....
21:04 Wed 21st Dec 20165 answers, last by Arksided 22:50 Wed 21st Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Ouch!

A few days ago travelling in car I had the most intense, burning pain on left side of teeth, mainly back bottom ones. I screamed out as its hell! Frightened my husband a bit... I know what it is....
10:52 Wed 21st Dec 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 11:35 Wed 21st Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Santa

What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker...
14:32 Tue 20th Dec 20163 answers, last by marval 18:37 Wed 21st Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Dance.

Normally I can't dance to save my life, but soon as I step in dog ***, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson!...
22:38 Sun 18th Dec 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 15:43 Mon 19th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Cleaner.

My friend got a cleaner who is eastern European. Took her 15 hours to Hoover around the house. She was a Slovak.
18:30 Sun 18th Dec 20165 answers, last by zebo 20:46 Sun 18th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Tribute Band.

Went to see Dire Straits tribute band last night. I'd say the second half was ok, but the first half was dire....
18:23 Sun 18th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Materialistic.

A London banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and rips off the...
17:42 Sat 17th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Dodged.

Rick O'Shea... Now there's a man that's dodged a bullet!
00:18 Sat 17th Dec 20165 answers, last by Patsy33 10:36 Sat 17th Dec 2016
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Patsy33

Good Man Rio!

Rio Ferdinand has given £500,000 to buy under privileged children good Christmas presents. Also, sleeping bags to all of Manchester's homeless. Makes a change to hear positive news from professional...
10:36 Fri 16th Dec 20167 answers, last by Cloverjo 17:42 Fri 16th Dec 2016

1421 to 1440 of 1972

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