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Patsy33

1581 to 1600 of 1972

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Patsy33

Question Title Here

I knocked my head a few days ago which made me cry. Not long after had floaters in my right eye. Then when I went to bed had a continuous spark like light at side of my eye. I phoned Optician and they...
08:43 Sat 17th Sep 20168 answers, last by Patsy33 17:26 Sun 18th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Shoplifting.

Old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes with her stands before the judge and he says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge...
09:41 Fri 16th Sep 20166 answers, last by Tilly2 21:05 Fri 16th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Wrong Answer.

I failed my driver's test today. I was asked what I'd do at a red light. I said that I usually check my emails and see what my friends are up to on Facebook.
09:59 Wed 14th Sep 20164 answers, last by marval 21:19 Wed 14th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Nip & Tuck.

After her eighth child, Cheryl decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her bomb doors were dangling a bit too low and...
08:31 Tue 13th Sep 20163 answers, last by 1ozzy 23:46 Tue 13th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

A Funny Angle.

Paddy comes home from work to find his wife propping up her washing machine on one side with two bricks. "What the feck are you doing?" asks Paddy. His wife replies, "Doing the washing at 30 degrees...
08:23 Tue 13th Sep 20161 answer, last by marval 15:04 Tue 13th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Lacking...

“I don’t find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency.”...
09:16 Mon 12th Sep 20166 answers, last by 1ozzy 05:02 Tue 13th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Latest Fashion.

Have you seen the latest fashion must have? It's a shirt made out of paper. I've tried one and it's tearable!
09:23 Sun 11th Sep 20164 answers, last by 1ozzy 22:37 Sun 11th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Question Title Here

Fairy cakes. Rock climbing. Blood groups Nerve endings...
11:57 Sat 10th Sep 20165 answers, last by Patsy33 12:08 Sat 10th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Question Title Here

Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his bottom, chocolate sprinkles on his manhood, and strawberry sauce on his testicles, police think he topped himself...:)
21:34 Fri 09th Sep 201610 answers, last by Elina 13:08 Sat 10th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Secret Love Child

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money...
19:12 Fri 09th Sep 20161 answer, last by marval 20:12 Fri 09th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

At The Welfare Office.

A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to...
16:42 Fri 09th Sep 20161 answer, last by 1ozzy 23:57 Fri 09th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Why All The Fuss?

I don't see why people make such a fuss about immigration. All my neighbours are English. All the kids in the local school are English. All the local shopkeepers are English..... I love it here in...
10:16 Fri 09th Sep 20164 answers, last by Smowball 16:26 Fri 09th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

How Could She Say That?

My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch. I said: “How can you say such a thing?”....
13:33 Wed 07th Sep 201613 answers, last by frugalfred 16:29 Wed 07th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Top Tip!

Start preparing for Christmas early by falling out with friends and family now!
09:29 Sun 04th Sep 20167 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:07 Sun 04th Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Arrested.

A British Rail worker has been arrested for a criminal offence. Police believe he's been covering his tracks.
10:33 Sat 03rd Sep 20167 answers, last by frugalfred 15:19 Sat 03rd Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Speak Up!

Swiss bank. A guy whispers: – “I want to open a bank account for 2 million dollars.” Swiss Banker answers: – “You can say it louder. In our bank poverty is no crime.”....
07:19 Fri 02nd Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Cryptic

1.Put back writer in church. It's not much to ask for....(8) 2. In trench, worshiper turns into architect. (11,4) 3. Points across the water on TV. (4,7) 4.The river has no right. Figure it out..(5)...
06:24 Fri 02nd Sep 20167 answers, last by Neveracrossword 06:40 Fri 02nd Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Irish Password.

During a recent PASSWORD AUDIT at the Bank of Ireland It was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin When Paddy was asked why he had...
18:22 Thu 01st Sep 20165 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:59 Thu 01st Sep 2016
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Patsy33

Foiled.

My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.” “What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked. “No, a surface to hair missile.”....
12:09 Thu 01st Sep 2016

1581 to 1600 of 1972

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