The-Toff- Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Shall we have a fibbing competition?

I'll start - I have swum UP the Zambesi Falls

HOspital

A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local hospital and this conversation follows: 'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to...

R1Geezer

2 Blokes snogging?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/...gland-london-13091833 Offensive or not? Was the landlord being a prude here? Do you cringe when you see gays kissing in public?...

Buenchico

I'm getting worse!

Only 2 out of 7 this week :-( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13068655 Anyone else fancy a go?...

Jemisa

Joke of the month.

A man goes into W. H. Smith book dept. and asks the young lady assistant. "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises? I can't remember the title. She replies, "I'm not sure if...

Steve.5

FA Msic quiz lovers

With the aid of the following lyrics name the girl in each song 1. Waits at the window wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door. 2. Hitch hiked her way cross the USA, plucked her eyebrows...

pixi-

Ex

What do you do if your ex is limping around and bleeding in your back garden? Take a deep breath, focus, reload, and shoot again :)...

sidkid

Wales.....

The only country where the locals can get a delicious hotpot, a smashing jumper and a decent shag..... All from the same animal!

DavideMexia

thread removed

why ab removed my thread?

anneasquith

least favorite city ?

what is your least favorite city in the world ?

SIRandyraven

Yobs and scum bags

Hope they make further cut backs to pay for the clear up after yesterday's demo. What political point did smashing shop windows and trying to smash up the olympic clock make ?...

Mamyalynne

Night night song from Mamya♥

Especially for Pinki♥

Jemisa

Old F... (Not really a joke)

I never really liked the terminology "Old Farts" but this makes me feel better about it. And if you ain't one, I bet ya you know one! Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during...

quizbuff

tv programmes (old and new quiz)

1.ROTB 2.ACGAS 3. AMMT 4. KAR 5. CFWM 6. BBB 7. CSATM ANY HELP APPRECIATED...

Steve.5

Try these

1 Which scouser holde the record for the most consecutive appearences for Man Utd 2 What EPL record do Swindon Town hold 3 Which was the only club to have played 3 league home games at the old wembley...

moonraker558

Moony has a spot of Trouble

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I...

squarebear

Please vote for me

Some of you may know that I dabble in artificial intelligence, especially chatbots. I have one of my better chatbots entered in a competition and the first round is the most popular chatbot. This...

Paveway-IV

Japan and Aftershocks (AKA the drink)

I know how the Japanese feel... After 10 Aftershocks i cant find my house either

cupid04

Salad days!

Man took girlfriend to bed and pleasured her with a large cucumber. She had multiple orgasms. Then they both fell asleep. Hours later she woke him up screaming ''yes, yes, yes! Oh God I'm coming''. In...

wildwood

A Glasgow Wedding.

Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got everythin' organised...

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