I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a relative's grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking...
Stevie Wonder is being interviewed. The interviewer asks "So, Stevie, how do you cope with being blind?" Stevie replies, "It's OK. At least I'm not black."
Little Jonny goes into school after being absent the previous day. His teacher demands, "Where were you yesterday?" "I'm sorry Miss, my dad got burnt" replies Jonny. "Oh,I'm sorry, I hope it wasn't...
A man walks into a bar and says to the barman "Line me up ten whiskies" So the barman lines them up and the man gulps them down one after another. "Jeez" says the barman "What are you celebrating...
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says,'How dare you call me a slapper! Get out of my bed right now, and you can take all your ******* mates with you too!