Is He Shy Or Just A Creeper?

[MDWCT2018]

I work in a large corporate building - we have about 7 different offices within the building (500 + employees) and loads of restaurants and bars below us.

There is one man that I have noticed, and he noticed me initially for nearly 5 years now.

What I find really frustrating is - he obviously likes me. He waves/ nods hello at me for example and has signalled for a drink. Once he even got his friends to get up and was signalling to me come and sit next to him in the bar (I was in the opposite coffee shop... there are a lot of glass walls )

What I find really frustrating is He never approaches me, its all gestures and signals from afar.

My work colleagues say he is shy, insecure and uncertain because I am out of his league (btw many men who are not in my league have no problem whatsoever asking out so I don't believe that argument one bit), I have had this with previous exes so it does make some sense but even then .... is he too spineless, or a timewaster for me to spend my time thinking about him?

I cannot approach him myself, because I am not the man - sorry but that is how I feel about it. Is there anything else I can do?

My work friends won't approach him because they are like why does he not get his friends to approach you instead?

[maggiebee]

You obviously enjoy the attention or you would change your coffee bar. Why can't you approach him? This is 2018 you know.

[Mamyalynne]

Sounds like a stalemate then, he isn't ready or willing to approach and you won't - I'd forget about it.

[kvalidir]

Wow, people have leagues? Do they really? I thought that kind of nonsense stopped in high school. Seems to me he's giving you good signals, why not just go over and talk to him when he 'signals' you one time, that would give him some further confidence to get more deeply into conversation with you.

[Canary42]

Why haven't you responded to his signals ?

[scorpiojo]

How old are you?

[kvalidir]

10 :)

[Mamyalynne]

Did you ever contact the personable guy you spoke to in April?

[kvalidir]

Yeah I was wondering about the phone guy too?

[RobNorth]

Are blokes still allowed to "approach" ladies at work? I thought that was now a sacking offence.
He may be worried about his job...

[Mamyalynne]

Haven't heard that asking someone would they like a drink/meal or night out is a sackable offence Rob.

[MDWCT2018]

haha no I never had the guts to call the personable guy from the sales call, and well, he never called me either!

We don't actually work together Rob, but we work in the same building comprising of different companies .... but he might have concerns because of work?don't know?

[snags]

This has been going on for nearly 5 years? For whatever reasons he hasn't progressed things and you won't 'because you're not the man'. Stalemate. Move on.

[RobNorth]

MD...
While my post was somewhat tongue-in-cheek, it would not surprise me if some men were reluctant to ask for a date in the work environment, particularly if they are in a senior position.

[MDWCT2018]

totally agree with you on that point Rob, in fact we actually had the police in our office once as some of the women claimed the cleaners in adjacent buildings were waving/ harassing them(!).

[snags]

''some of the women claimed the cleaners in adjacent buildings were were waving/ harassing them''

Or perhaps just cleaning the windows...

[Arksided]

^Lol. but probably were.

[douglas9401]

Do you find both really frustrating things really frustrating or is one of the really frustrating things more frustrating than the other really frustrating thing?

[Old_Geezer]

"I cannot approach him myself, because I am not the man - sorry but that is how I feel about it."

And he cannot approach you himself, because he is not the confident type - sorry but that is how he feels about it.

"Is there anything else I can do?"
Yes, you can stop making excuses and make a friend instead.

[rowanwitch]

Do you think he looks nice..... yes
Do you think he likes you........yes
Go up to him say " hello, I've been seeing you around for the last 5 years, I'm.............., I thought after all this time one of us needed to say hi properly."
You can leave the rest to him, judge it by his reaction. Not all men are strong confident creatures. Some of the nicest ones are sweet and shy

[Peter Pedant]

// once as some of the women claimed the cleaners in adjacent buildings were waving/ harassing them(!).//

and the police have to take these allegations seriously

I was at college ( I am 67) and said to an equally mature teacher - you're looking very dapper today
and she said - say that again, and I will get you barred
no she wasnt joking.
and the Arabs - if they say to each other 'you terroristen' - they dont speak English very well,
that is grounds for exclusion in todays world

do you work in the UK -( or else does that question get you phoneing the police ?)