A Husband and wife are shopping in their local Tesco. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their trolly'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on offer only £10 for 24 cans.' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them.' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks her husband. 'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful.' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.
'On the Tannoy system is heard : 'Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a man down.'
Old dear spots a young but rather ugly girl pushing a pram with 2 kids in it, nice twins says the old dear, how did you know they are twins says girl. nobody would f___k you twice.