They Keep Coming

[Rondy]

I bought a book on how to re-wire my house.
I was shocked when I realised it was written by amateurs.

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Managing your weight around the Christmas and New Year break just requires a little planning.
For example, I take the batteries out of my bathroom scales.

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Wife’s just got a job at a vibrator factory
She is absolutely buzzing.

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I ate a kids meal in McDonald's today, his mum seemed pretty upset.

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My father was a Methodist....
My mother was a Spiritualist.....
So I was brought up as a Methylated Spirit.

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This year my wife said she wants Christmas Dinner with all the Trimmings.
So I've invited Mr and Mrs Trimming, along with their eight children, four grandparents and two surviving great grandparents.
I mean we hardly know them, but anything to make my wife happy.

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I have a question: Does anyone know how long you can put a chicken in the freezer for? Only, I put a chicken in the freezer last night and it was dead this morning.

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The man who's house got hit by a plane in Kent issued a statement last night saying that the next time he goes on holiday he'll remember to turn his landing light off.

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I played scrabble with the wife last night.
It's the only way I can get a word in.

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Got a new job at the candle factory... So far I only work on wick ends.

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The union workers at the Royal Mint went on strike today.
They are demanding to make less money.

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[bookbinder]

All good ones!

[Ken4155]

Laughed out loud at the Methodist one, Rondy. Keep 'em coming, 😂