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Rondy

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Rondy
NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to all the aliens.
They are calling it 'Apollo G' ___ I came so close to winning the lottery jackpot on Saturday.
My next door neighbour won it. ___ I failed... ...
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Rondy
Paddy and a monkey are shot into space both with envelopes to open with instructions inside.
The monkey opens his envelope first,
It says: Micky check all seals on hatches, make sure the oxygen... ...
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Rondy
My mate is an opera singer and it’s his birthday soon.
But, what can you get for a tenor these days? ___ Here's a thought, Why don't we replace Border Force
with a GP Receptionist
& then lets see who... ...
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Rondy
A flying saucer landed at a petrol station on a lonely country road.
The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" emblazoned in big, bold... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week starts at 6pm https://stin.to/f0blx#   ...
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Rondy
How long was I at the laryngitis clinic?
About three hours, roughly speaking. ___ Got a call from my GP today saying I've tested positive for Monkeypox and could I swing by the surgery. ___ Chatting... ...
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Rondy
I used to date a girl with a wooden leg, But I had to Break it off. ___ I can only sleep on stacks of old magazines.
I've got back issues. ___ Just received an email on how to read maps backwards.Its... ...
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Rondy
I was in the supermarket yesterday and as I was leaving, spotted a rather handsome looking assistant. "Do you carry shopping to a customers car free of charge?" I asked him. "Yes, madam" he replied... ...
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Rondy
An office employee knowing his boss was off for the day transferred the office telephone to his own mobile phone and took it with him to play golf.
The boss called and asked how everything was... ...
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Rondy
My wife and i often laugh about how competitive we are
I laugh louder though. ___ Because our new refrigerator was taller than our old one, I told my wife I'd have to cut away part of an overhanging... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week is tonight at 6pm.   https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
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Rondy
I've got a friend who can only count up to three, but he still got a job.
He puts the crisps into Walkers crisp packets. ___ A lady dropped her handbag in the bustle of holiday shopping. An honest,... ...
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Rondy
I asked my grandma how she was enjoying her new stair lift. she said it was driving her up the wall. ___ I'm playing cricket against my local fish & chip shop later. Their fielders and bowlers... ...
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Rondy
A couple, Dave and Mabel, were staying at the Grand Hotel Llandudno -- fourth floor.
Dave calls the Hotel Manager "Come up quick. we've been arguing and Mabel wants to throw herself out of the... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week is tonight at 6pm   https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
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Rondy
I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe!"
She said "Is that because I’m small and cute?" I replied "No, it's because I’ll probably end up banging... ...
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Rondy
Just pipped in the pub quiz again tonight.

Apparently Joan of Arc was not Noah's wife.
___

We was so poor as kids my mum used to buy our clothes out of the army and navy store.

Wasn't so funny going... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week is tonight at 6pm https://stin.to/f0blx#   ...
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Rondy
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking.
Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him... ...
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Rondy
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,... ...

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