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Rondy

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Rondy
I just bought one of those low energy light bulbs from B&Q. The till assistant said "Will you be putting this up yourself?"
I said "No, I'm putting it up in the lounge." ___ Breaking news about the... ...
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Rondy
Tonight's quiz link, starting at 6pm.   https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
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Rondy
Chaos occurred in an ATM queue this morning, when a Scotsman's kilt
fell down..... he'd forgotten his pin. ___ I took a degree in Salad studies. All I really wanted was some lettuce after my... ...
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Rondy
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep last night.
I got to 500 then lost interest so went home from work and got into bed. ___ Some people thought my plan to design a building with a two-kilometer... ...
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Rondy
A couple who drove their car to ALDI, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a... ...
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Rondy
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone.... ...
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Rondy
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Eric, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely... ...
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Rondy
Gary: "Your new secretary is very sexy...."
Larry: "Thanks! She's actually a robot named Doreen....
If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types... ...
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Rondy
I asked my friend the other day, "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"
He replied, somewhat indignantly, "That was no eyesore, that was my wife!" ___ I’ve just woke up after a heavy night’s... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week starts at 6pm (British time) tonight. https://stin.to/f0blx#   ...
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Rondy
Paddy is booking into a guest house and looking around reception he notices a sign on the wall.
He asks the owner: "What time do you get in?"
The owner looks confused and says: "I am the owner and I... ...
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Rondy
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-towners who ended up sinking it. He spent... ...
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Rondy
Apparently exercising helps with decision making. It's true!
I went for a jog today and decided I'm never going again.
___

Dad: "How are your grades, son?"

Son: "They're underwater, Dad."

Dad: "What do... ...
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Rondy
Poets were on special offer in town today.
It was Byron get one free. ___ I said to my wife "seeing as it is valentines day lets try something from the karma sutra"....Ok she says "I'll have Chicken... ...
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Rondy
My friend and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. He had the idea that his wife did not want a card on Valentine’s Day, but when he spoke to her on the phone, he discovered she was expecting... ...
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Rondy
Mick got a job as a bus driver and on his first morning he just sat
at the depot waiting. The bus inspector came over to see what the
problem was. Mick said; " l'm waiting for the conductor! " The... ...
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Rondy
Tonight's quiz starts at 6pm   https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
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Rondy
I met a nurse who took me to Italy.
Next thing I know, she has me arrested.
And that’s how I learned about Florence, night in jail. ___ I didn’t win any medals at the international astronomy quiz last... ...
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Rondy
I was disappointed with the new film called Fishing, although it had a great cast! ___ Woman sitting next to a man on a plane, every time he sneezes he wipes his cock, after the 3rd time the woman... ...
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Rondy
As I was rushed into A&E, the paramedic shouted “BP is 148!”
I thought that’s not really the time to talk about petrol prices. ___ The seeds I sent for have germinated in the envelope.
It's left me... ...

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