Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
Sibling rivalry
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I have two sons 28 and 22, the 28 year old has been through a lot since he was in his teens, all brought on by himself and for that reason has lived with us on and off.... therefore the 22 year old had our undivided attention and I must add has been a model child/teenager and now adult, he really has been my rock at times, but now the problem is, my eldest son has sorted himself out and now visits us regularly, but my youngest gets very sulky and usually goes off to his room. Now I know he has been through a lot together with us due to the eldest sons behaviour but I am surprised by this behaviour as normally he is very mature beyond his years. Has anyone had any experience of this or any advice. Thank you in advance.
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.The thing is, your younger soon is an adult now, and he probably has a lot of ill feelings towards his brother for putting the 2 of you through everything. I think it's much less likely to be an issue of jealousy, and more that he feels defensive of both of you. I know I have had issues with my older sister from time to time over the way she speaks to/treats my dad - and that from my point of view, it is something that will always make me angry - if anyone treats my parents badly. If your son can't ignore the fact that he feels this way then he is better to remove himself from the situation and not have you and your husband feel you have to choose between them.
I sincerely hope it works out for you and the family. Unfortunately this is not an age thing; I am 61 and have been estranged from my brother, 57, to whom I was previously very close and looked after him when he was very young, for more than 30 years. As I have never been married, although I know I have a brother and three nephews (but don't know now where they live), whenever I go into hospital or for treatment, I have to answer 'No known living relatives' to the ' next-of-kin' question. I trust that your problem will have an happier ending.
You can't just rise above problems from the past. They are etched in your mind. People who have hurt you have to prove themselves for you to be able to move on. He's not doing anything but leaving the room. He probably has no respect for his brother and is avoiding causing an atmosphere by going to his room. You can't knock him for that. In time, if his brother has changed, he'll probably come round...slowly. That's human nature.
Do you instantly forgive people? I certainly don't...
Do you instantly forgive people? I certainly don't...