No Arms...
Bob goes into a public toilet and sees this bloke standing next to the urinal. The bloke has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, fine, I'll help you." The man asks, and will you unzip my fly's?" Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK."
Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mould and red bumps, warts with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and it reeks something awful. Then the bloke asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points it for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The bloke tells Bob, "Thanks, mate, I really appreciate it."
Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?" The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says,
"I don't know, but I ain't touching it."