BE NICE TO GRANDMAS...

[CailinDeas]

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams, I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher..... Yes, I know you."




The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.... Yes, I
know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
f- - - -ng idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the
electric chair."

[tonyav]

Massive LOL.

[tenrec]

Brilliant.

[wolf63]

I was listening to this the other night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VCWROijdwM&feature=related

[maggiebee]

Love it

[jake-the-peg]

Lawysers should never ask questions when they're not prepared for the answer from anybody!

A great apocraphal story is the defense lawyer who was defending someone from a charge of biting someone's ear off a bar brawl

After much interrogation he got to:

Lawyer: So finally we get to the fact that you didn't actually see my client bite his ear off

Witness: No I guess I didn't [This was the time to shut up and sit down]

Lawyer: I put it to you that you didn't see anything at all

Witness: I saw him spit it out again!

[marval]

Good one

[Grandma_Yiddo]

Best I've heard in a long time.