Crosswords2 mins ago
To laugh or not to laugh
A blonde takes her car to a mechanic!
The mechanic says 'Nothing to worry about, it’s just sh!t in the air filter!'
She says 'Brilliant, how many times do I have to do that?'
Cops came and knocked on my door and said my dog's been chasing people on a bike! I said "Bog off he doesn't have a bike!"
This bloke was having sex with an enormous woman.
He asks "Can I turn the light off?"
She says "You a bit shy, love?"
He says "No, my *rse is burning."
"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
"If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They’re trained for that."
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
The mechanic says 'Nothing to worry about, it’s just sh!t in the air filter!'
She says 'Brilliant, how many times do I have to do that?'
Cops came and knocked on my door and said my dog's been chasing people on a bike! I said "Bog off he doesn't have a bike!"
This bloke was having sex with an enormous woman.
He asks "Can I turn the light off?"
She says "You a bit shy, love?"
He says "No, my *rse is burning."
"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
"If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They’re trained for that."
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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