News0 min ago
Workplace Bullying, What should I do? :(
36 Answers
I've just finished my first week of a new job working in a factory in order to save up money to do my masters. It's going well, apart from one girl whom I have to work in close proximity with. At first, she was very friendly and nice to me, always smiling and laughing. I thought she was a really fun person. She offered to stay back and wait with me when I had to wait for a lift home from work so that I wouldn't be on my own. To be honest, I wouldn't have minded staying on my own but she seemed to want to wait. She gives another co-worker a lift home so she had to wait also.
The next day in work, we were packing chicken (it's a meat factory) and two of her packages were sent back as they weren't done properly. Then he supervisor picked up one of my packages and said it was an example of how it should be done. That was laughed off but at the end, when another of her packages was sent back she practically threw it at me and told me to finish it for her "since I'm so good at it." I told her to finish it herself but she put it down in front of me and walked away so I just did it to avoid an argument.
Later that day we were talking to a co-worker whom we hadn't met before. I was asking him if he liked the job and he said that he preferred working in the other section of the factory. The girl then joked, "Yeah well it's probably the people up here that make it worse for you," so I said back to her "Yeah, like you," and laughed since I thought it was all light-hearted fun. Then she just turned on me and said that they(she and the other girl she gives the lift to) were nice enough to stay behind with me the night before and that I'd given them nothing but dog's abuse since. She said it with such aggression that I was actually a bit taken aback and kind of felt like crying, just because she'd said it in front of the other guy who we'd just met. I felt really humiliated that she was being so nasty to me in front of him, as I'd hardly given her "dog's abuse." The thing with her is that if she's in a good mood she'll be singing and ordering people around to "hurry up girls, we can do this," which is all very fine but then her mood can turn and she'll bite the head off me. Also, if I ask a question, which she thinks has an obvious answer she'll look at me as if I'm the stupidest person she's ever seen and give a really "well d'uuuuuh" answer, and always in front of other people as well which makes me feel embarrassed and like the weak one who can't defend herself.
Nobody else seems to mind her so I don't really have anyone to turn to. I don't want to go to a superior as I think it would make things worse because I need to keep this job for as long as I can in order to save money. I just want some advise on how to deal with this myself, how can I make her respect me and stop thinking that she can treat me like this? How can I regain control and stop her from intimidating m
Sorry for the really long-winded question, I hope you've lasted to the end and can offer some advice!
The next day in work, we were packing chicken (it's a meat factory) and two of her packages were sent back as they weren't done properly. Then he supervisor picked up one of my packages and said it was an example of how it should be done. That was laughed off but at the end, when another of her packages was sent back she practically threw it at me and told me to finish it for her "since I'm so good at it." I told her to finish it herself but she put it down in front of me and walked away so I just did it to avoid an argument.
Later that day we were talking to a co-worker whom we hadn't met before. I was asking him if he liked the job and he said that he preferred working in the other section of the factory. The girl then joked, "Yeah well it's probably the people up here that make it worse for you," so I said back to her "Yeah, like you," and laughed since I thought it was all light-hearted fun. Then she just turned on me and said that they(she and the other girl she gives the lift to) were nice enough to stay behind with me the night before and that I'd given them nothing but dog's abuse since. She said it with such aggression that I was actually a bit taken aback and kind of felt like crying, just because she'd said it in front of the other guy who we'd just met. I felt really humiliated that she was being so nasty to me in front of him, as I'd hardly given her "dog's abuse." The thing with her is that if she's in a good mood she'll be singing and ordering people around to "hurry up girls, we can do this," which is all very fine but then her mood can turn and she'll bite the head off me. Also, if I ask a question, which she thinks has an obvious answer she'll look at me as if I'm the stupidest person she's ever seen and give a really "well d'uuuuuh" answer, and always in front of other people as well which makes me feel embarrassed and like the weak one who can't defend herself.
Nobody else seems to mind her so I don't really have anyone to turn to. I don't want to go to a superior as I think it would make things worse because I need to keep this job for as long as I can in order to save money. I just want some advise on how to deal with this myself, how can I make her respect me and stop thinking that she can treat me like this? How can I regain control and stop her from intimidating m
Sorry for the really long-winded question, I hope you've lasted to the end and can offer some advice!
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Simple advice? Ignore it. Be polite do your job and ignore it. i bet she is always like this with somebody and if she finds that you stay polite and pleasant but don't react, she will stop. As you have already found, paying her back in her own coin doesn't help and wont help if you decide to take it further. How long do you have to work there?
It's a difficult situation Wolfgang as I have to spend the entire day working with her and eat lunch with her as the five of us who work on that line sit together. Everyone has their own little groups in the canteen so there isn't an option to sit anywhere else. I just feel really weak if I stand there and don't defend myself. I know she's good at manipulating situations to make herself look innocent and this is the difficulty. By ignoring it, do you mean that I should just stand there and say nothing? I have to work there for as long as they'll keep me, I have 20 grand to raise..
Be civil and nothing else. If she continues to goad you while you're doing that then she'll show herself up. In fairness we're only getting your side and since no one else seems to mind her then have an honest think whether there are times where you've maybe meant to have a laugh and a joke but have inadvertantly caused offence, it can happen. Either way, a job is a job, if you can make friends then that's an advantage but ultimately you're just there to work, although I've made friends at work, it's never been a primary concern with me. I just get on with it mostly. (Which is probably why I've made friends actually).
1.dont show her any weakness,harder done than said.
it might not work for you but when she makes these comments say something completely off topic to what she says in essence throw her mind into thinking What The Funicular.
for example
mugger"give me your money and phone"
victim"why is that wall over there yellow and not red"
i know that is a different situation to yours but it has been proven to work
i had a problem about 5 years ago with a colleague all i did was make it known that i was prepared to do as joeluke says
it might not work for you but when she makes these comments say something completely off topic to what she says in essence throw her mind into thinking What The Funicular.
for example
mugger"give me your money and phone"
victim"why is that wall over there yellow and not red"
i know that is a different situation to yours but it has been proven to work
i had a problem about 5 years ago with a colleague all i did was make it known that i was prepared to do as joeluke says
Buy a copy of this:
http://www.fightersonlymag.com/magazines
Read it at the lunch table. If she asks who it belongs to you could say it is yours/your boyfriend/brother/sister/dad. She might back off if she thinks you have cage fighters in the family. lol
:P
http://www.fightersonlymag.com/magazines
Read it at the lunch table. If she asks who it belongs to you could say it is yours/your boyfriend/brother/sister/dad. She might back off if she thinks you have cage fighters in the family. lol
:P
The other are used to her and do not realise how bad she is. There is nothing to do but not to 'rise to her bait' . Just get on with your work as you have been doing and have the minimum contact with her that you need to do the job. Do not let her see that she is 'getting to you' hard I know but it will get better. I would bet that in a week things will be much better if you just keep calm and carry on as you are.
It is easier said than done, but I will try to cover up the fact that she's getting to me. If I didn't work with her I'd never associate with her but I'm in a bit of a trap seeing as she's always in my eye-line. The worst thing is that she actually makes me so angry so it puts me in a bad mood for a few hours and then I just go quiet and imagine the things I should have said to her while slamming chicken fillets into their packs..so the product is suffering also :P Evedawn, how do you deal with the frustration? Head down and keep working?
Don't know if this will help, Ciara, but I've been in similar situations. If you look at it from her point of view, you are there temporarily, to raise money to escape to a much better future - she is probably stuck there packing chickens for life, so there is probably a fair bit on envy there on her part. Not that that makes her behaviour acceptable, just understandable.
If you can, try to seek her help wherever possible. Make her feel as if she can do some things better than you can. Swallow any pride you may have and ask her advice about things - you don't have to listen to the answers. Make out you're a bit dumb if necessary to give her a chance to feel superior. OK - it's a bit fraudulent and hard to swallow - but keep your eye on the money, and your eventual escape.
If you can, try to seek her help wherever possible. Make her feel as if she can do some things better than you can. Swallow any pride you may have and ask her advice about things - you don't have to listen to the answers. Make out you're a bit dumb if necessary to give her a chance to feel superior. OK - it's a bit fraudulent and hard to swallow - but keep your eye on the money, and your eventual escape.
No Ronnietoon, that's definitely NOT my goal haha, I just want to know how to make it not affect me so that I can get on with my work and enjoy my day rather than dreading seeing her face.
Nope Alba, the thing is we both only started working there last week! We are both on the same contract but I think she has a view to staying there longer than I have. Yes there is a HR department but to be honest I really don't want to make a massive deal out of this and bring in third parties unless absolutely necessary. They'll just end up calling her in to have a word and I''l probably be the one moved to a different department which I wouldn't like because I actually enjoy my work in the current department apart from this girl.
Nope Alba, the thing is we both only started working there last week! We are both on the same contract but I think she has a view to staying there longer than I have. Yes there is a HR department but to be honest I really don't want to make a massive deal out of this and bring in third parties unless absolutely necessary. They'll just end up calling her in to have a word and I''l probably be the one moved to a different department which I wouldn't like because I actually enjoy my work in the current department apart from this girl.
A classic case of (on her part) :-
Low self-esteem
Inferiority Complex
Typical of most bullies and female bullies can be the worst. The fact that you can do your job wlll (according to your supervisor) have made her feel even more inferior and insecure. She`s probably a bit jealous as well because you are there to fund a course and will move on to better things and she won`t.
It`s difficult but if it was me I would wait for a day when she`s in a good mood, tell her I`m hoping to get my contract renewed, remind her that we`re all there for the same reason, a bit of banter can make it much more fun but sometimes we seem to misunderstand each other. I`d say that in view of my staying there a bit longer, can we wipe the slate clean and start again?
Low self-esteem
Inferiority Complex
Typical of most bullies and female bullies can be the worst. The fact that you can do your job wlll (according to your supervisor) have made her feel even more inferior and insecure. She`s probably a bit jealous as well because you are there to fund a course and will move on to better things and she won`t.
It`s difficult but if it was me I would wait for a day when she`s in a good mood, tell her I`m hoping to get my contract renewed, remind her that we`re all there for the same reason, a bit of banter can make it much more fun but sometimes we seem to misunderstand each other. I`d say that in view of my staying there a bit longer, can we wipe the slate clean and start again?
