ChatterBank1 min ago
Creatures
Dogs are tough.
I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy.
I've just bought that new Lynx deodorant - breadcrumb edition. The birds can't get enough of me!
I wrote a book on penguins.
With hindsight, I realise that paper would have been easier.
I've bought myself a chinchilla.
That should keep my face nice and cool in this warm weather.
For Sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have just bought metal detector.
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?
Swarm.
I broke into a pet shop today and stole a rabbit.
Then I made a run for it.
My new budgie started to tweet this morning, strange I thought, because I'm not sure how he managed to turn on my laptop.
An old farmer's dog goes missing and he is inconsolable.
His wife says to him, "why don't you put an ad in the paper to get him back".
The farmer does this, but after two weeks the dog is still missing.
"What did you write in the paper?" asked his wife.
"Here boy," said the farmer.
My dog just loves chasing cars, he howls and barks and jumps around with joy.
It's funny though, he just walks off when he hears anything else by Snow Patrol.
My next door neighbour keeps racing pigeons...
but the pigeons always win.
Woman goes into a butcher's.
"I'd like an oxtail please".
"Certainly", replies the butcher, "Once there was an ox..."
The sign on the door said "Guide dogs welcome".
As I entered the shop, a Labrador greeted me, thanked me for shopping with them and took my coat.
A few friends and I went out for a meal the other week; we all decided we would try the duck...
I always seem to get stuck with the bill.
I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy.
I've just bought that new Lynx deodorant - breadcrumb edition. The birds can't get enough of me!
I wrote a book on penguins.
With hindsight, I realise that paper would have been easier.
I've bought myself a chinchilla.
That should keep my face nice and cool in this warm weather.
For Sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have just bought metal detector.
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?
Swarm.
I broke into a pet shop today and stole a rabbit.
Then I made a run for it.
My new budgie started to tweet this morning, strange I thought, because I'm not sure how he managed to turn on my laptop.
An old farmer's dog goes missing and he is inconsolable.
His wife says to him, "why don't you put an ad in the paper to get him back".
The farmer does this, but after two weeks the dog is still missing.
"What did you write in the paper?" asked his wife.
"Here boy," said the farmer.
My dog just loves chasing cars, he howls and barks and jumps around with joy.
It's funny though, he just walks off when he hears anything else by Snow Patrol.
My next door neighbour keeps racing pigeons...
but the pigeons always win.
Woman goes into a butcher's.
"I'd like an oxtail please".
"Certainly", replies the butcher, "Once there was an ox..."
The sign on the door said "Guide dogs welcome".
As I entered the shop, a Labrador greeted me, thanked me for shopping with them and took my coat.
A few friends and I went out for a meal the other week; we all decided we would try the duck...
I always seem to get stuck with the bill.
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