Is it ok to leave my son and daughter at home for 2 days?

[mrsl]

My husband would like to take me for a short break (2 nights) for our anniversary, he thinks it will be fine to leave our 17 (almost 18) year old son in charge of our 13 year old daughter.
They are both very mature for their ages and are able to cook, clean after themselves etc but I'm unsure about leaving them.
My son has stayed at home to look after his sister from the age of 15 for an occasional night out but we've always been home at night. Also he stayed home alone whilst we went camping in the summer for 3 nights and was totally fine.
Both say they are happy for us to go on this break and assure us they are fine with the situation.
My son can also drive and has a car so it's not like they are stranded at home, the next door neighbours also have a key to the house and say they will be happy to keep an eye on them should my children want them to.
What does people think? Am I worrying too much or should I say no to the anniversay trip?

[zzxxee]

i would think at nearly 18 it is ok i would let a neighbour or relative be there at the end of a phone just in case your son needs back up xxx

[ummmm]

He is almost an adult. I think you are worrying too much. As long as he's nice to her then I can't see the problem. I had my own child at 18.

[Bbbananas]

I agree with zzxxee - it sounds as though the neighbours are on hand - just put a complete ban on house parties, they should be ok. Enjoy x

[suzyangel]

It is illegal to leave a 13 year old alone...I think you sound sensible and prob won't enjoy your break as much...can't you get a sitter...or arrange for the youngest to stay at a friends?

[lukey121]

Suzyangel, sorry but your wrong. It is not ilegal to leave a 13 yearold alone. Your son is almost 18 it will be fine for one night.

[suzyangel]

Afraid that I'm not wrong...don't want to say what my job title is but rest assured it includes this kind of thing. Prosecution is VERY unlikely unless an incident occurs and nearly 18 does not equate to being 18. I would be very careful in today's climate.

[daffy654]

Suzy I think you are being slightly alarmist here.There are many 16 and 17 year olds who have their own children,it is not illegal for them to be left alone in charge of their offspring.

[ummmm]

Suzy...you're wrong. It differs from county to county. There is no age limit for leaving your kids alone in Northampton. I asked a social worker.

[cherrychapstick]

right so suzy ,i am in the know of these things ,but that aside he is 17 nearly 18 so tell me why he cant look after his 13 year old sister?when you can LEGALLY have a child at 16 !!

[cherrychapstick]

Daffy can i update on yours there are many CHILDREN out there younger than 16 with their own children and guess what Suzy its not illegal for them to be left with their child ,the law in Scotland is you can leave anyone in charge of your child as long as you feel they are competent enough and mature enough ,

[Canary42]

I'm not sure that arguing about the legality is helping much, the problem is ypur confidence (or shortage of it) in the situation. Your husband is confident, you aren't. So you probably won't enjoy the break if you're over-anxious all the time (whatever people here say to assure you). You could possibly reach some sort of compromise, like make the break somewhere within returning distance in case of problems (you don't say anything about the nature of the break so I don't know how practical this could be). But ultimately the pleasure is in the celebration of the event, not necessarily its nature.

[suzyangel]

I totally agree with Canary. It is about the confidence issue. And the enjoyment!

And as for having children...it isn't 'illegal' to have a child at any age! BUT...these people are then PARENTS not babysitters...not sure what kind of social worker said it is legal but have a look at the dcfs website and see what you think! FACT. In ENGLAND it is illegal to leave your child with a minor. A minor is defined as under 18.

I also wonder at peoples responsibility in encouraging someone to go off and leave their children when they are obviously not comfortable with it...hence this thread!

I hope you found a sitter and had a wonderful time.

[cherrychapstick]

In England and Wales, you can babysit at any age, whether you are paid or not. In Northern Ireland, you must be at least thirteen. You are allowed to look after a child of any age. However, if the child you are babysitting is thought to be at risk because it is not being looked after properly, the child's parents could be prosecuted, or action could be taken to put their child into care.

If you are over the age of 16, you can be charged with a criminal offence if you deliberately assault, ill-treat or abandon a child in your care.

[craft1948]

I thought the childminder only had to be 15 or older..........

[hc4361]

It is very clearly set out here.
http://www.rospa.com/...dvice/babysitting.htm
There is no legal problem with a 17 year old looking after a younger sibling.
You are obviously uncomfortable with the idea of leaving them so you may as well refuse to go.

[cherrychapstick]

i think it used to be craft but the law changed not that long ago think it's because of the fact that children are having kids earlier (just my opinion) think this way if they are left in charge of a child it might put them off a bit having their own found that on this page http://www.adviceguid...yment.htm#babysitting

[China Doll]

Personally I'd leave my son alone but would have the daughter stay with a friend for the weekend who's parents are home. I wouldn't want to be stressed about the son looking after the daughter and she's at an age where I think it's reasonable for her to still have some parental supervision (rather than just 'adult').

[cherrychapstick]

mrsl you say your neighbour has a key ,i do think you have a confidence issue,i know i may sound daft but why not before your 2 night break have a 1 night one close by in driving distance of your home hopefully this will make you more confident ,you have to realise and im not saying it's going to happen soon but what if your son had a child are you going to be at his house every night to make sure his own child is ok ,you are going to have to trust him enough ,especially when he has said he is ok with watching his sister

[suzyangel]

This is insane! Whoever said they spoke to a social worker is either lying or spoke to one of a few disengaged menbers of that profession..to be poite...please be assured if anything happened to your 13 year old you will face prosecution and social care

[madmaggot]

If you are unsure about leaving them then don't leave them.