What Do Girls Do When They Are Unsure On Someone?

[Karzonian]

Long story short. I've had a year history with this girl. She got a boyfriend, kept speaking to me. He didn't like how much she confided in me. Made her stop speaking to me. They broke up, she got back in touch. We saw one another and had a fun time (if you know what I mean). Now she's seeing someone else and showing distance. Which is fine. Met once more, she came back to my hotel room but nothing happened. Not even cuddling. Just slept. She dated this current guy last year for a month and said he didn't make her feel safe so left it. She has a long history of depression and now going through a psychotic episode (delusions and hallucinations). I saw on her instagram she went from following 400 people to only 60. She never unfollowed me. I find it odd because now we don't speak anymore, I don't like her posts and I never post anything either. She said our religions are why we can't be together. If we were the same, then she'd be with me.

One of my friends said it to me. After a year of this on going story 'she still has no idea how she feels about you'.

Girls, how would you want a guy to deal with this issue?

[davebro]

Sounds like a heap of trouble, back off and find someone else. If she contacts you make it clear you've moved on. (I'm not a girl though!)

[Old_Geezer]

You seem to be in the "friend zone". It may develop but I'd not put money on it. Plenty more fish in the sea, as 'they' say.

[Atheist]

You don't seem to have any love or affection for this person, so maybe you are only interested in having a sex partner. Do you really think she is an issue to be dealt with? Maybe she is better off without you, and you should take the hint. Obviously, I don't know you both, so this is just a first impression. Think about it.

[Karzonian]

No Atheist, that certainly isn't true. It does hurt to see what she is going through mentally. Equally, if she is choosing not to share her current issues with me. There isn't much I can do? She'll just push away further.

[Karzonian]

To make it abundantly clear, the question being asked is 'how would a girl like a guy to react if she is on the fence with him'? It's not an issue. Just indecisiveness.

[Neveracrossword]

If a girl is 'on the fence' with a guy, maybe she's happy with that state of affairs? If I had told a guy we couldn't be together and I wasn't speaking to him/messaging him, I would want the guy to accept this. Your OP mentions girls being 'unsure', which isn't an accurate reflection of what's in your longer account.

[Karzonian]

Neveracrossword,

So you'd want them to keep pursuing? Wouldn't that just make you lose attraction for them?

[Neveracrossword]

No, the exact opposite - I'd want them/him to leave me in peace! What has led you to think that she's on the fence, unsure etc? You're ascribing 'indecisveness', maybe that's more palatable to you?

[Karzonian]

She's always been the one to make the effort with me. Always initiated conversation, always was the one to share her troubles. Her latest bout of depression seems awful and from what she's told me, she is going through some psychotic episode (hallucinations and delusions). Only now is she being distant and I've had to initiate with her and check to see if she's okay. Low level of responsiveness though..

[Captain2]

'Long story short' Err not quite. This the 25th question involving this girl and your 'relationship' in 14 months.
I think it is time you learned to read between the lines and leave the girl to live her life how and when she wants it.

[Karzonian]

Think it's probably worth mentioning that I have left her alone multiple times. Thought it wasn't worth it. She is the one who keeps coming back into my life..?

[Neveracrossword]

Karzonian, what is the answer you actually WANT us to give you? I think the majority of females would be happy to leave things as they are. They'd also probably prefer you to be ... less heavily invested in every nuance of every event, action, over the last 14 months.

[Karzonian]

I do tend to look over every small detail. It's not so much what answer I want you to give. I just wonder why she didn't just close it off entirely? She had the perfect chance to get rid of me once and forever on IG and kept me when she removed so many. Just interested by the action..

[Neveracrossword]

Karzonian, you seem to have let what one friend said -'she still has no idea how she feels about you' -count for far more than it merits. And for someone who is 'just interested', you've gone into great detail about each and every event, non-event of the past 14 months. I'd still want 'the guy' to face facts, accept things as they are. Maybe that opinion will resonate as much as the one from your one friend?

[cashier]

I would want him to leave me alone.

[Karzonian]

Not sure how this question has become a means to try and attack me? She is the one that's kept coming back into my life. I haven't been running back to her..

[Neveracrossword]

Karzonian, my comments and opinion do not 'attack' you in any way. You may feel you are just asking a question, because you are 'just interested', but the whole tenor of your posts suggests otherwise. Your title asks one question, a fairly general one... but doesn't describe the situation you are in. Also, I have told you -several times - exactly how I would want a guy to deal with the issue. If you can't accept other views, don't solicit them.

[Captain2]

It's not 'attacking'.

Sometime the truth hurts.

[davebro]

//She is the one that's kept coming back into my life. I haven't been running back to her..//

I would refer you to my first reply.

[Karzonian]

To Davebro, thank you very much for your answer and advice. I'll be taking it.

To nevercrossaword and others who say 'leave her alone', I have done. Plenty of times. Use today as a good example where I was going about my day normally and she called me up out the blue saying she was thinking about me a lot and missed me. She feels overwhelmed in life and had to abruptly end the phone call cause she was about to cry. I'm not imagining anything. She is super unstable and i've always felt on the fence with her.