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Just seen a fight between an Auctioneer and a Hairdresser..
They were going at it hammer and tongs.
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A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”
“Really?” he says. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?”
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When I was a little boy, I used to be afraid of the dark...
Now as an adult, I see the electric bill and I'm afraid of the light!
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