Something I Personally Want

[StupidGuy]

I am warning you now, this is going to be a long one, with many thoughts and feelings. There is also, for the sake of some poor guy, no question here. Just a confession of what I want. So if you are the kind of person that answer questions, then feel free to skip this. 

I would like feedback, possibly on what people think of me using this place as more of a documentation, instead of questions, or even me making these updates.

Feel free to comment!

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I normally go on some deep dive into my brain, or some interesting thought that I have, but today I want to take a step back, and look at everything.

 

So many times do I think that I need some companionship. But within those times, comes a form of clarity, that makes me realise I truly love peaceful and quiet scenery. Sometime I want to spend time alone, where I imagine myself in some serene, quiet place free of society, and social norms. But other times, I would love to spend time in that special place with someone I feel specially for.

 

I have always felt a little bit like an outsider to people around me. Many people around me don't understand why I go outside and away from everyone to go look up at the night sky, or deep into the campfire, or some hills outside. There is a certain serentity that comes with getting out of a loud and crowded place, and going to some quiet, secluded place and just watching nature that you just can't replicate anywhere else. A way to make it feel more magical is if you bring someone with a close bond with you to look out. Many people I try this with just go back to the party, or the gathering and go have fun over there. When will someone want to join me watching nature work like a machine? All in perfect harmony, and in (mostly) peace with each other?

 

Another thing crave for, is affection. Who doesn't?

At this moment in time, I am still looking for someone to fill the emotional void I have felt slowly grow in my chest for years. Now think about the correlation between a partner, and the serenity of nature? You probably got it! I want nothing more in life, than to watch the sun set, and the moon shine with my partner in hand/lap. We wouldn't speak during the moment, or for minutes after. If this were a romance movie, the movie would fade to black, and would end there. I don't want some extravagant gift, or act of kindness that sweeps me off my feet. Just a quiet moment of nothing but peace, truth and pure love radiating off of each other.

 

This is another long entry from me, but this is something I feel genuine about, and still long for to this day. This is around 2711 characters, so it is fair if not many people read here.

[Neveracrossword]

I think you are too self-absorbed - and also rather needy.

[StupidGuy]

How come? 
 

I genuinely want to improve myself, so I invite you to explain why you think I am self-absorbed. I am a little socially-inexperienced, so you would only be doing me a favour in the future.

[Neveracrossword]

I feel it's self-absorbed to render an outpouring of your thoughts, wishes, hopes etc to the (AB) world at large. It is, of course, sometimes good, sometimes helpful, to share, but today's post follows others you've had, many of them full of self-interest.

[Old_Geezer]

You sound normal. Although you seem unable to separate self lone time from more social activities. You don't need someone with you to enjoy the serenity so why mix that joy with the desire for companionship ? If someone wants to join you, then, fine, icing on the cake. But best look for social activity in a standard social situation.

[StupidGuy]

I will try to implement that thought process later on in my posts. Just thinking whether or not other people want to read it, and it not being entirely a self-centered post. The question to phrase would be 'Would I tell this to someone and expect them to care?' 

[jourdain2]

I don't object to your posting. You sound within the normal range of wishes and anxieties.

What I would suggest is that ,since you are fluid and articulate when writing, you write.  Not for us really, but for yourself. 

I don't know where you live, but I would suggest that you look around for writing groups. You could express yourself and met people at the same time.

Writing groups are safe spaces where people can express inner thoughts and perhaps learn to direct them in a more positive way. 

[Vagus]

I'd suggest you carry on posting your thoughts here, people can read this, or not, and comment, or not, as they see fit, no personal face to face interaction.
If it helps you to download your thoughts that's fine, you're not hurting or boring anyone, people will read your stuff or not. I skim through it if I feel moved to but don't really relate to most of what you post.

Good luck.

[Scarlett]

Just like everyone else, you are seeking a like-minded person who gets you, and wants to do the same things that you enjoy.

 

Just like everyone else, you are seeking a like-minded person who gets you, and wants to do the same things that you enjoy. Why not try online dating, and be very specific about what you are looking for: Someone who enjoys peace and Tranquility, who doesn't need to fill the silences in conversation, but who also wants to experience closeness with another person. They are out there.

[CrapatCryptics2]

I got bored after 3 lines,