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I've combined my skills of bomb-making and taxidermy..
I'm going to make you an otter you can't defuse.
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My mother always said to me make sure you have a clean pair of underwear on in case you are involved in an accident and have to go to hospital...how ironic that an anagram of ambulance is...
A CLEAN BUM!
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I stopped drinking and became vegan on Boxing Day.
It’s early days but I’ve already lost 8 friends.
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The Ancestry com website has been hacked three times in the last month.
Police think the breaches might be related.
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My friend's been sick in bed over Christmas and New Year, so I went round today and took some presents and a large bottle of Bourbon.
Fingers crossed he won't notice they're gone.
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Despite gaining weight over Xmas and breaking my New Year’s resolution, I’m keeping my chins up.
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My Christmas tree wasn't just happy to have its decorations removed, it was delighted.
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