What's your favourite limerick?

[plowter]

What's your favourite limerick?

I like:

When Titian was painting Almada
She was sat atop of a ladder
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition
So he nipped up the ladder and 'ad her

[Myriad2112]

A horny young lady named Lil
Fucked a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

[meglet]

How did you get that through the language filter Myriad?

[Ice.Maiden]

Ooops..careful M.

[Myriad2112]

it's the way I type em !

[Vicodin66]

**** knows :o))

[Myriad2112]

.. and I like this one too


There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."

[Vicodin66]

****** if I know then... is it the 'ed'? ;o))

[The Builder]

There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two...............

[Vicodin66]

Nope... not the 'ed' ;o))

[Ice.Maiden]

Tread carefully. You're going down Lucy T's path.

[weeal]

there was a young girl called Ethel
who was bullied by boys from Methil
one day with a thud
they landed in mud
they didnt know Ethel could wrethel

[Ice.Maiden]

*wrethel!!!!!!

[weeal]

she had a lithp (lisp) haha
ok its not the best lol

[Stephen_G]

A Policeman from Nottingham Junction,
whose organ had long ceased to function,
deceived his good wife,
for the rest of her life,
by cleverly using his truncheon.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
to fetch her poor doggy her bone,
but as she bent over,
along came old Rover,
and gave her a bone of his own.

A Cricket supporter called Rees,
watched the game with his girlfriend Denise,
but the South Yorkshire league,
never held the intrigue,
of his bat and two balls at her crease.

On the t1t$ of a barmaid at Yale
Was printed the prices of Ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind...
Was the same information in braile.

[Ice.Maiden]

Fell about at the last one, JN!!!!

[thorfinn]

The one about the barmaid from Yale is similar to a limerick sung by the Scottish Folk duo The Corries in the seventies (they wrote 'Flower of Scotland'). The first two lines were:

On the bosom of Sweet Abigail,
Was written the price of her tail.

Here's one:

There was a young man from Bengal
Who had a rectangular ball,
It's molecular rate,
Was his penis times eight,
Plus the square root of minus f**k all

[sddsddean]

There was a young man from Dundee,
Who got stung on the arm by a wasp,
When asked did it hurt,
He said "No not really"
"It can do it again if it likes"


There was a young lady from Darjeeling,
Who had a peculiar feeling,
She laid on her back,
and opened her crack,
and pi$$ed all over the ceiling!

[nescio]

There once was an old man from Troon
Who ate only soup, with a fork.
For he said, " As I eat
neither fish, fowl nor flesh,
I would otherwise finish too quick".

This does not make sense when you use words which rhyme.

[chadad]

A damsel from old Aberwistyth
took some grain to the mill to make grist with.
The miller's son Jack, laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pi$$ed with.
.
A careless young lady named Coleshill,
Inadvertently sat on a mole's hill.
A short sighted mole poked it's nose up her hole,
Now Miss Coleshill's alright, but the moles ill.

[dundurn]

The limerick's an art form complex
Whose subjects run chiefly to sex
It's chockful of virgins
And masculaine urgin's
And other erotic effects