Child won't share

[petesgrayz]

My 4 year old grandson will not share with his 18 month old sister. He will share sweets but goes absolutely barmy if we try to get him to share his toys. Any ideas.

[annie0000]

Sharing does not come nauturally to most children, but he needs to be taught to share - both by being positive to him when he is sharing and by denying him attention when he wont. If it was me, when he refuses to share, i would choose another toy and get involved in playing with the little girl - make it sound really fun. He can join in if he wants, but only if he brings the disputed toy with him and shares it with everybody. If he doesn't bring the toy to share, do not allow him to join the fun - he can go and play on his own with it if he wants.

He also might find it easier to share it with you first and then you share it with his sister - but persist in getting him to share directly.

If you must give him sweets, I would use them as areward for sharing and wouldn't give him any otherwise.

[annie0000]

Sorry, meant to ask, is it only with his sister that he doesn't want to share, or is it with friends and at nursery?

Nursery/pre school work with children on their sharing and social skills, it would be useful to ask them how he does there.

[petesgrayz]

Thanks annie. He is as good as gold at school but he doesn't like sharing with anyone at home. He brought a football down to my house the other day and when his dad and I tried to join in the game he went mad and stormed off with the ball.

[annie0000]

i think patience is the key - if possible, I would have got another abll and carried on playing without him until he brought it back, I think that he needs to see what he is missing out on when he doesn't share. If he wants to sit lonely with all his toys around him then so be it, but i dont think it would last long until he realises that he needs to share to have fun.

It is all about making it more desirable to share than not.

Or you could go down the other route and take whatever he won't share from him so that if he won't share, he cant have it at all - this probably works better with food - i.e. have a piece of cake is better than none at all.

Failing that, there is always the old fashioned resort of a clip round the ear - lol