Monologue

[_sophie_]

I'm writing a monologue for my English coursework. I have an idea of writing about a woman whose husband is away at a career/life-changing business meeting and on the way back his car crashes and he is killed. The wife is cooking him a meal and gearing herself up to tell him some news until she hears that he has been named as a victim of the crash. The reader does not know she is pregnant with their first child until the very end. I want to make this really emotional.. but any tips?
OR I had an idea of a young girl with luekemia who is really very ill. She is coughing up blood etc and the nurses keep telling her she'll be ok but inside she can feel her insides weakning on her. Her mum comes to visit but is in a rush and says she will be back tomorrow for longer. During the night, the girl gets worse, but she feels calm and at rest. She dwells on past memories and I was going to link one of these memories into her death.. e.g she is on a beach when she was younger and remebers paddling in the water, she remembers looking back at her family and then I would say something like 'the sun is so bright here. Look, there's my sister, building the sandcastle. It's so white and quiet. I literally feel like I'm on a cloud'...
What do you think? Which idea? Also.. I keep getting muddled up with past and present. Can a monologue be that the person is telling a story to the reader or does it have to be ike they are actually doing something now. i.e 'As I'm chopping vegetables...' or 'Ok, time to chop the veg' type thing??

[andy-hughes]

I think the 'leukemia' idea sonds very clever.

You can make the tense present or past - as long as you stick to the tense throughout.

Good luck.

[Hazel104]

I agree that the leukaemia is a solid idea as well, you seem to have a clearer idea about that one as well.

[_sophie_]

Can i not seperate the tenses with those star things under a paragraph?

[andy-hughes]

Sorry - may be an age gap here - can you explain that please?

[_sophie_]

Hahaha.. sorry! Errr.. it's like 4 little stars under a paragraph to show that time has gone by..?

[andy-hughes]

Oh, I see, didn't understand, but i see what you mean.

If the whole thing is going to be the girl's voice, then it is possible to switch tenses betwen paragraphs. i assumed when i made my first comment that it was going to be all one 'stream-of-conciousness' delivery.

So, you can swap tenses inbetween paragraphs, but not in the individual paragraphs - so you can have -

"I'm floating on a cloud and i feel as free and alive as i have ever felt in my life ..."

"Back then it was all different, when i was younger, and felt so well all the time, i took it for granted ..."

see the idea?

[_sophie_]

Yes thank you so much!!

[ljdksa]

I also think the second idea is better. On the first one, as soon as you said the wife has "news" I thought she was pregnant - so may be difficult to hold that until the end.