ChatterBank1 min ago
Holiday Before Wedding
31 Answers
We are getting married in Spain next year. For the actual wedding we have a villa that sleeps 20 people for four nights One of those days is the day of the wedding the 20 people will be close friends and immediate family before the wedding I would like to go to Spain to relax with my immediate family and ideally with my fiance. He thinks it’s unfair that I’m not inviting his family to this but in all honesty I don’t want his family there I just want to relax with My family before the wedding
He thinks we should invite his side to so another 8 to 10 people as to be inclusive. Am I being unreasonable to want to spend some time with my family without everyone else given that the days around the wedding they will all be staying with us at the wedding Villa
He thinks we should invite his side to so another 8 to 10 people as to be inclusive. Am I being unreasonable to want to spend some time with my family without everyone else given that the days around the wedding they will all be staying with us at the wedding Villa
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Why do you not go with your family and he with his. Separate villas, maybe lunch with his family one day and yours the next. Are the 20 people your family and friends, where is his family staying and is he staying with you the night before the wedding. I think you need to consider his feelings and discuss the situation calmly together
A couple of thoughts from me:
1. If you're entering into a partnership with someone, it seems crazy (as well as extremely selfish) not to give as much weight to the feelings of that partner as you do to your own. If you're inviting your own family then it should be obvious that you should invite your fiancé's family too. (As Calmck points out, they don't all have to stay in the same villa though).
2. You ought to consider though whether all of your family/families really want to join you or can afford to do so. There have been quite a lot of press articles over recent years about people who've struggled to keep up with the overseas wedding invitations that they've received. They've often gone only out of a 'sense of duty', rather than as an enjoyable experience.
For example, there have been reports of people who've been invited to attend a couple of family members' weddings in Spain or Greece in the same year that they've also been invited to workmates' weddings in Antigua and Thailand. In every case the bridal couple (or, more often, the bride) has made it clear that there's been a firm expectation upon the invitees that they'll turn up. It's plunged those invitees into thousands of pounds into debt, meant that they've been unable to afford a holiday of their own and left them panicking about the next set of weddings coming up in the following year. So are you SURE that your family (and your fiancé's family) both WANT to attend and can actually AFFORD to do so? (i.e. you ought to be considering THEIR feelings, as well as those of your fiancé).
1. If you're entering into a partnership with someone, it seems crazy (as well as extremely selfish) not to give as much weight to the feelings of that partner as you do to your own. If you're inviting your own family then it should be obvious that you should invite your fiancé's family too. (As Calmck points out, they don't all have to stay in the same villa though).
2. You ought to consider though whether all of your family/families really want to join you or can afford to do so. There have been quite a lot of press articles over recent years about people who've struggled to keep up with the overseas wedding invitations that they've received. They've often gone only out of a 'sense of duty', rather than as an enjoyable experience.
For example, there have been reports of people who've been invited to attend a couple of family members' weddings in Spain or Greece in the same year that they've also been invited to workmates' weddings in Antigua and Thailand. In every case the bridal couple (or, more often, the bride) has made it clear that there's been a firm expectation upon the invitees that they'll turn up. It's plunged those invitees into thousands of pounds into debt, meant that they've been unable to afford a holiday of their own and left them panicking about the next set of weddings coming up in the following year. So are you SURE that your family (and your fiancé's family) both WANT to attend and can actually AFFORD to do so? (i.e. you ought to be considering THEIR feelings, as well as those of your fiancé).
The OP has said this is to be a holiday before the wedding...but she doesn't say how far in advance of the big day. Weeks...several months?
Nor does she say what the numbers are in her "immediate family". Is she paying...or are they, for their individual rooms/accommodation?
I tend to think if she wants time with her family, then that's all it should be. Just them.
Nor does she say what the numbers are in her "immediate family". Is she paying...or are they, for their individual rooms/accommodation?
I tend to think if she wants time with her family, then that's all it should be. Just them.
