What bedtime should a 5yr old have,

[Jenarry]

I'm a working single mum and i don't pick up my son until 5.45pm after work.
we have the usual routine of tea(which can take some time due to food issues and having to give insulin jab due to little guy's diabetes)bathroom for shower,etc then bed,for bedtime jab and for story then settle to sleep. by which time it's between 8-30 and 9pm.
this is just how our evening goes naturally without rushing everything and little guy is usually happy up to bedtime. on rare occasions he does seem tired after his day at school so i put him to bed earlier in this case otherwise it all works fine.
i have however had comments made that this time is way too late and that other children around my son's age are in bed by 7 every night! what do you guys think have i got it way out?

[sara3]

it's been a while since mine were 5 yrs old but I'd say 9pm is way too late.. just before the watershed on TV!

7.30-7.45 would be about right in my opinion.

[craft1948]

My 5 year old was in bed between 6:30 and 7:00 but if you can't do that don't worry. I think the main thing is the routine.

[karenmac60]

If he seems ok with those hours then I don't see any need for you to change it. His friends parents' probably have more time with their kids after school and can't wait to have them packed off at 7 :) I remember a lot of other mothers at the school gates saying 'roll on 7 o'clock' when they hadn't even seen their children after school yet! You are trying to juggle things and spend some quality time with your son so don't be feeling guilty because of what others do. x

[sherrardk]

My 5 year old goes to bed at 8 (on the dot) but she should go earlier - however, I have lots of children. I take the 3 year old twins to bed at 7 o'clock and my husband sits with the other three. The 3 year olds are usually asleep before 7.45 and then I take the 5 year old up at 8 and the 7 year old at 8.15. The 10 year old goes up at 9.15. This plan works if my husband is still out at work so it suits us. We don't get up till 7.30 so it's not massively early and they are all out/dressed with bags of time to spare - I am super organised though.

[Buenchico]

The 'standard' advice, from people like 'Supernanny' and other recognised childcare 'experts'(?) seems to be that:
(i) young children should have a consistent bedtime (i.e. they should go to bed at the same time at weekends, and during school holidays, as they do on schooldays, even if that means their parents having to leave a social gathering earlier than they'd wish to) ; and
(ii) that young children should get sufficient sleep to ensure that they're bouncing out of bed in the morning (rather than be dragged out of it).

What the 'experts'(?) seem less able to agree upon is the exact number of hours sleep that young children need. (As an analogy, it used to be assumed that adults need at least 8 hours sleep per night but recent research suggests that 5 or 6 hours sleep is actually better). Most 'experts'(?) would probably suggest a bedtime of somewhere between 6.30pm and 7.30pm for a 5-year-old but if he's leaping out of bed, full of energy, in the morning then there's probably little to worry about.

When I was teaching (at secondary level) I was often concerned to see that I was working with young people who clearly had insufficient sleep. (My lessons might not have always been the most interesting but when a youngster fall asleep within a minute of sitting down at his desk there's obviously something wrong!). So you might think that I'd be automatically supporting early bedtimes but (because everyone's different) I think that the 'bouncing out of bed' test is probably far better than any specific bedtime.

Chris

[Ellipsis]

Yes, that routine sounds very good.

Possibly you could shave some time off by pre-preparing food earlier, e.g. the night before - this would allow you to get him to bed earlier in order to prepare the food for the next day while he's in bed, giving him longer to sleep.

Also consider whether you could vary your working hours in any way, e.g. start and finish half an hour earlier if that works.

Good luck ...

[redcrx]

how on earth are you expected to get him fed, bathed and into bed by 7 if youre at work til nearly 6. If the routine you have works, and your son isnt tired in the mornings etc then leave it as it is.

My son is same age and unless he is really exhausted he will rarely fall asleep by 9pm (often 10pm) even though we put him to bed at 8. He will even wake up at 4am for an hour or so before going back to bed again.

Kids arent all the same, and you just have to go with what works best for him and you

[Old_Geezer]

Having not been a parent, but having a vague recollection of being a kid a few centuries past, 7 seems much more in keeping with the routine I had than 9. I guess a main consideration is the amount of sleep and is it enough. If he is sometimes tired and needs to go earlier does that not imply 9 might be a bit late ? But best of luck if he is used to 8:30 / 9 and you suddenly decide he has to go earlier. He may wonder why he is being punished. Maybe you could gradually ensure it is always 8:30 rather than 9.

[milly143]

Frankly, who cares what other people think. If it works well for you and your son then why change anything.

[B00]

totally agree with Red, you couldn't possibly have him in bed by 7 if you don't finish work yourself till nearly 6, and you shouldn't feel guilty about that either.

If that bedtime routine works for you both, and he's not falling asleep due to being totally exhausted during the day, then ignore everyone elses "advice".

And kudos to you for being a working single mother too, you're setting a great example to your son in actually providing for him, rather than sitting at home claiming benefits.

[Sqad]

Keep to this routine which seems perfectly satisfactory and fits into his Insulin regime.

[Bbbananas]

There are no hard and set rules - each child is different. Sounds to me Jen that your routine is working - so why change it. Your approach sounds sensible - take no notice of anyone else.

[chrissa1]

I agree with everything previously said. Well done you.

[Old_Geezer]

Changing the subject slightly.

"it used to be assumed that adults need at least 8 hours sleep per night but recent research suggests that 5 or 6 hours sleep is actually better)"

I find those experts difficult to believe. On becoming an adult 8 hours used to suit me just fine, although admittedly 7¾ was probably more often the case. Folk say that as you get older you need less sleep. Again I don't believe it. In my experience what happens is that brain decides to stop you getting the sleep you need so when awake you permanently go around not 100%, knowing that the concentration and everything is not what it used to be. But consoling yourself that you seem to be able to cope, in a fashion, just about. I'd love to be able to get the 8 hours I used to; I'm certain that I really 'need' it. 5 or 6 and I'm no longer happy with of my mental abilities.

[Lore]

I agree, the routine you have seems to work just fine. I think it would be different if your son was up playing on a games console ( I know, at 5 yrs old you wouldn't expect it, but I can think of quite a few from my place of work who do) or if he was sat watching tv. But your spending time with him reading etc, something an awful lot of children don't get.

[momcj]

My daughter is 6 years old and goes to bed about 8 but very often she is awake mumbling to herself until 9 or even later. Obviously with your situation it is difficult because of the time you finish work and ur child dserves to have some quality time with you. If you find that your son is getting tired then maybe try to put him a little earlier, but i think 8.30 is ok. I dont think my daughter has ever went to bed (and slept ) at 7pm!

[boxtops]

I can't contribute an answer to this thread, but I remember so well being about 6 or 7, and having to go to bed with the curtains closed, when the sun was still shining outside!

[237SJ]

Boxtops I remember that too. It took me years to understand why I always felt just a little bit depressed at about 6.30 pm and then I realised it was because that was the time I was put to bed as a child. I remember one time when I was in bed and my peers were playing in the field outside my bedroom and my mother opened my bedroom window and told them to be quiet because I was trying to get to sleep. I was mortified!

[smoochiegal]

your little one should be in bed about 7pm. Can't the childminder feed him? In a year 7.30. My son has just turned 9 and he has just started going to bed at 9pm at the wknd we let him stay up a bit later if he is watching a film in bed.

[Jenarry]

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. :O)
I do try to make it closer to 8.30 than 9 and have tried to make it earlier but it just doesn't seem to work.
I must say i have noticed that the children in question that are in bed by 7pm every night are lucky enough to have stay at home mums or other members of the family who are with them at home straight from school and so they can have their tea ,bath etc at an altogether earlier time. (and I have said as much in a tactful way after hearing this opinion one too many times!)
smoochiegal my childminder gives little guy a snack after school but as i mentioned he has food issues and as it's really important he has a decent amount at mealtimes with his diabetes and unfortunately i don't think my childminder has the time to sit with him one to one to get him to eat the amount he needs to so i'd prefer to give him his tea myself.
He doesn't seem tired at all during the day and is fine in the evening and as I said if he seems ready for bed earlier than normal then I put him to bed earlier.i just don't think it could be all that much earlier without it getting very stressful and rushed.