Herpes?

[coli05anna00]

A very close friend of many many years began an affair with a man 20yrs her senior, 4 days after first having sex with him she began having 'SYMPTOMS'.
she confided in me a little later on that she had been to the quacks with sore lesions down below, headache and flu like symptoms, where she ws told she had herpes.

I was very concerned about him having passed this on to her and told her he was prob not a gooden. when she told him he was not at all best pleased of her telling me to say the least.
So when she had her visit to the gum clinic amazingly it isn't Herpes after all, it was thrush?
you could say its none of my business but i am worried she is not taking this seriously and is a bit starry eyed as recently after she had to take her own 4yr old daughter to the doctors with a rash downstairs fearing, even though she herself was given the all clear, it was herpes.

would you buy it? me thinks i smell a rat

[sara3]

I think it's a shame she's having unsafe sex, but other than that it's not your business.

[coli05anna00]

yeah it is a shame sara my concern is for the child and others not aware of towel sharing so on and so forth.

[ummmm]

So, what rat do you smell?

[dtgblue]

Thrush and Herpes have similar but distintive features and can be passed either way, male-female female-male. However one is very serious the other a minor irritation. If cleared of herpes at genito urinary clinic, there is nothing to worry about

[coli05anna00]

That she is covering up for him! he told her when she expained what she had been told by the doc that 'he had never had a problem' me thinks he is the rat i can smell.

[ummmm]

Oh Okay....well you know her and we don't.....she could be telling fibs.

[coli05anna00]

She was that poorly when it first flared up i am just not convinced it was simply thrush dtgblue.

[coli05anna00]

how does it sound to you ummmm

[ummmm]

I would find it very hard to believe that a doctor was not able to tell the difference....

[cazzz1975]

I agree completely with sara

[coli05anna00]

me too, paticularly as she went when it was really rife! i just dont think a quack would tell you you have herpes unless absolutely certain

[ummmm]

Like the other two said though....it's her business.

[coli05anna00]

But yes of course, but it could become others business if its passed on again. the bloke she is living with has not got a clue

[ladyalex]

well, if it is herpes, he will soon...
Stay out of it.

[cazzz1975]

I would let her deal with it, you are not armed with the facts, just assumptions, if you are worried, then keep your distance.

[coli05anna00]

I am out of it completely no longer have anything to do with her as she constantly asked what i thought he was like ( i should also mention the bloke in question was until now a very good friend of my husbands) it has caused us no end of upset so please dont think its that im interferring, we got fed up of being the go betweens when it all started and when the crap hit the fan all thrown back in our face. at the end of the day its been horrible, just wish they had got on with it and left us out have enough of our own worries without it.

[hc4361]

Herpes can lay dormant for many, many years and suddenly flare up for no apparent reason, although exposure to the sun and stress are known culprits. If it is herpes, she may have had it a long, long time.

Herpes comes in two shades. A cold sore is herpes and if they indulged in a particular form of intimacy it is possible that the virus could be transferred from mouth to genitalia.

So, if it IS herpes and she is fibbing to you about the thrush, it does not mean this man has given it to her, and herpes is not the end of the world.

[sara3]

I'm not sure what you think your options are.

[coli05anna00]

Not saying it is just how fippant she has been about it from day one, even over her daughter. it still aint something you want to be spreading around, bit suss still that it was 4 days after? also she told me he had a few spots.

[coli05anna00]

not looking for options sara3 honey it is none of my business, just wanted some thoughts on the subject. it has been hard distancing a friend of almost 30 yrs but it was the only way in the end, couldnt be involved in it me or hubby. just hurts thats all i guess its a longer story than you can print on answer bank. its not just about the herpes.