Dementure - What Do We Do

[kia cat]

My Mum is suffering from dementure. She's 91, and driving my Dad [who has the patience of a lit firework] round the bend. He's too proud to accept help [cleaning & cooking]. We do our best, but the GP's won't discuss anything with My Brother or me without parental written consent. Had a call this morning from her @ 04:30 after she'd been walking round in the garden. Do we have to wait for something drastic to happen before the Social Services kick in? Any advice please? Thanks

[Iluvspikey]

You and your brother are going to have to sit your father down and have a serious talk with him - tell him it's not only our mum who is at risk, but he and other people could be in danger from her. She might switch a gas thing on without lighting it - or cut herself, fall downstair or even in the garden or go wandering off into the road and get knocked down. And you don't need the worry of 4.30am phone calls becaue she's lost all concept of time. If he is adament about not getting help, ask him to let you at least talk to the doctor to see if anything can be done - warn him a fall or anything and the whole thing could be taken out of his hands, like it or not.

[EDDIE51]

Have you contacted social services yet ? If not you need to do it, they are well aware of the problem of people who do not want to ask for help it happens all the time, but they can't help until you ask them to.
If your Mum is not able to handle her own affairs , as seems likedly you need to get permission to do ( power of attorney ??) to do things like finacial and official business on her behalf.
Get in touch with your local CAB and ask their advise they are very good.

[EDDIE51]

Here is the national dementia help line number, call it now for advice, there is a lot of help available as long as you ask for it.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200365

[VHG]

There will also be a local Carers Centre (as you seem to be taking on a caring role).

Ring your local Carers Centre and ask for advice.

[kia cat]

Thanks Everyone, we'll follow this along. We can't go on like this.