End Of Semester Legal Problem

[Peter Pedant]

Please help with this first semester winter break legal essay problem.
I am at my wits' end....

Sparks and Mensa is a retail outlet whose tagline is Not Very Bright – sorry The Price is Right. SnM employ as an equal opportunities employer. ‘Ali will not sell alcohol or pork to Christians. We are not sure what he sells to non-Christians.


Another employee, Alli – (Allison) insists her birth name was Chen-Hua and that she is Buddhist. After it is pointed out that Buddhists are an oppressed minority in the People’s Republic, she refuses to sell Jasmine tea or China tea and will only supply Indian tea (short leaf). An Asian customer comments that she is a bit round-eyed to be Han. Alli comments ‘I have nothing against Jasmines – it is a moral issue’. She says it in a broad Scouse accent.


Ooli – (short for Ursula) is a Polka and a Roman Catholic, wears a pectoral cross, despite a passing Cardinal commenting that only Bishops and above can do that. I am above that replies ooli, coolly. She will only serve Christians who have been baptised by Pope Francis. (certificate needed) When it is pointed out that this means all her customers must be under five years old, she replies – he baptised whilst he was a bishop didn’t he?


Arley is an animal rights activist and a vegan and will only serve vegetables, as he will not touch meat. “Yes” he boasts showing his clean un-meaty hands, “I only serve vegetables!” A passing customer in a wheelchair, protests that that isn’t the way to refer to the disabled.


Advise the fella in the wheel chair and also give a profit forecast for SnM for the next financial year.

[factor-fiction]

Very good, PP.
Is that your own work?
Have a good Christmas

[Peter Pedant]

thanks FF
yes allmine
and have a good holiday

[Barmaid]

You really need to seek the advice of a barrister. I am sure I can think of one who can be contacted at.........

Happy Christmas Peter. BM xx

[wolf63]

Have you got copyright on this essay? - don't want some trainee law person stealing it for their thesis.

Merry Christmas x

[browntrout]

I'm a Christian working in B & Q. can I refuse to sell wooden beams and nails to someone - if I suspect that they are Jewish.

[CokeTulip]

Sparks and Mensa decide to ditch retail overnight and turn their hand to law.
(it was sort of a lightbulb moment, everywhere they saw "profit" on their spreadsheets -- it had a little arrow pointing to "law"!).

They opened their law firm xmas eve - they wanted to start out as they mean to go on ...fast! (they will keep the SnM brand) - they are already fully staffed -poaching is acceptable. Regardless of religious persuasion (or anything) their solicitors are lining up fighting over themselves to serve (a bill). They expect to make an obscene profit.

[Blackiequine]

Had me going for a wee while there. Wish I could think of an equally witty retort like some on here. Happy Christmas everyone. You are very entertaining, keep up the good work.

[FredPuli43]

Semester? What 'term' is that?

Have you tried the Daily Mail or, seeing as you must be in the US, the Harvard Law Journal?

[jno]

do they have S&M in the States, FredPuli?

er, let me rephrase that...