Hi there jellybelly.
I thought I'd leave a message after reading your comments, and the other people's comments too.
I am a recovering anorexic, I was a very big restrictor eating about 200kcal a day, everyday (although I did not take laxies)
And I know how you feel about not wanting to get help for your anorexia, as I was forced into it. Although I guess it has helped me a lot (and I am a healthy size 8, BMI about 19/20)
Although sometimes I'm desperate for the feeling of control and to be a lot thinner than I am now. I wait for the feelings to sub-side for a while, before they start again.
If it is true what you're saying, then you must get to the doctors, and find out what is wrong, it might be more than the laxies, it maybe cancer or something as serious.
The doctors will advise you, confidentially, but they cannot force you into anything, such as recovery or telling your family.
Ethel was very wrong in saying that 'Anorexics- are self-obsessed and have no care for others'
People who bullied me absolutely destroyed my life, I thought I had to 'crash diet' lets say, in order to be the thinnest and feel normal. That's where it became an obsession and I had to do it every minute of everyday.
I hurt my family so much, that they were the main reason I finally accepted help. Yes, I was obsessed with the way I looked, but I could never agree to anything else that has been said on here.
But please consider going to the doctors, they're there to help.