Trying to be open-minded, but...

[Scarlett]

My best friend is a man of 30. He has no luck with women. He, like all men, needs sex. He isn't getting any and there seems to be no opportunities on the cards. He also likes being single and has no desire to settle down or be in a relationship. In a week he is going away for the weekend, to London. There is no reason for him to go there- he usually likes to go to the beach or somewhere rural. I am pretty sure he is going to get a prostitute. I like to think I am open- minded, but this makes me feel queasy. What would be your thoughts?

[yogi-bear]

Hi Scarlett,

As other good folk have already mentioned, he's old enough to know, and do, what he likes.
If he has no luck with women, he has to survive so maybe the only way to get by is what you suspect he might be doing.

Have you suggested he could join a singles night club......plenty about if you look for them....or a dating agency?

In regards him going to seek out a prositute, he must know the safety aspect and need to carry out safe sex, and hopefully he will, so no harm done.

I dont know your personal feelings or situation, but if you are single and you feel anything at all for him, more than a friend, let him know.

Be his friend and not his jury. :0)

[Scarlett]

And Andy Hughes- discussing on here with strangers.. That is absolutely what this forum is for. To get unbiased, varied responses and opinions from people. Of course I don't know anyone on here, and I certainly would not be able to air my concerns or thoughts to anyone I know (since they all know him). I would say that procuring advice from the Answerbank is exactly what I need to do on this occasion, and I am grateful for and interested in, any opinions which I get.

[pastafreak]

You still have not given a reason for your suspicion that he is going to London for a prostitute.If it were my friend-that is not the first thing that would come to mind.

[redcrx]

maybe hes met someone on an online dating site and is going to meet them

**hi Yogi, saw you post on other thread, nice of you to stick up for people but dont go getting any bother ;)

[yogi-bear]

"he usually likes to go to the beach"

Scarlett,

If he comes down to Brighton, i'd advise him to check out adams apples, suspicious facial hair, deep voices and big feet, otherwise he could be in for a big surprise in these here woods. :0)

[Scarlett]

Pasta- because we have talked about it before, but only as a principle.

[yogi-bear]

No problem red......and i'll do it again if i have too.....if the Ed wants to suspend me for just being civil, as seems to be the fashion here..........his option too.

Would i miss it here....... NOPE!......not on the form in the last few months i would'nt.

[joggerjayne]

LOL Yogi.

He could try that Platinum Lace place at the prom end of East Street. Also, handy for popping into AllSaints afterwards. Or perhaps before, just in case it closed.

[yogi-bear]

JJ,

It's getting frighteningly scary when even i sometimes cant tell the piggin' difference........lol


I was never confused btw :0) x

[joggerjayne]

Aww, Yogi ... I never thought ... you know ... ... (!)

Mind you, after the thread last week about the Trannycat Dolls, you can't always be sure!

[Canary42]

You might like to think that you're open-minded - but you're not IMHO. Try addressing that before worrying about your friend's private life.

[andy-hughes]

Scarlett - you are absolutely right.

On reflection, having re-read my post, I am concerned to read that I appear somewhat moralistic, and not a little high-handed in my castigation of you for posting here.

Therefore, I would wish to unconditionally withdraw my previous observation with my sincere aologies, and I hope that I have not in any way dented your faith in the constant support and wisdom offered by my fellow posters here on the AB.

I hope the advice of others - notwithstanding my own hastily composed and ill-thought-out response - is of help to you in your dilema.

Best always,

A-H x

[China Doll]

I think it's none of your business. I also think that London is not the only place to have prostitutes and you're jumping the gun.

[joggerjayne]

Why are we all assuming that he would be looking for a woman ??

[yogi-bear]

Missed that one, JJ

Talking about being open minded re: prostitution.......when i lived in South London i got to meet Cynthia Payne at a few local functions, who ran a brothel house for her cliential in Streatham near Tooting Bec Common and she had the cleanest and safest house in probably the whole of the UK.
She kept the sorrid outside prostitution off the streets and protected the girls from weirdo's and being potentially attacked too, and from clients being attacked from the girls pimps, and the area from having cars up and down all the time kerb crawling and condoms dumped in the local vast park area's.

Not nice and not for me at all personally...... but it DOES go on and that is the way to go and get it safely for those it interests imo.

Camera's there now apparently to ward off such activity......but my way of thinking is as long as it's done safely to all, and it has to be done..........why not in a safe way?

[joggerjayne]

I agree, Yogi ...

But I'm also thinking ... why would a guy make a special point of going some distance away from home for sex, instead of just going to the nearest pole dancing bar?

I'm thinking ... gay tourism?

[cazzz1975]

to be honest its his business, he is a 30 year old man, there is also no proof that he is travelling to london for a prostitute which could probably be found locally much easier and cheaper.

as he has not told you why he is going to london he may not want you to know for the reason that its his business and if he wanted you to know he would tell you.

[yogi-bear]

Maybe JJ.......:0)

Having said all that......as JJ, China and others say.....he may be just looking for some R&R and a nice relaxing break in London....he may go to a pub/club there and chat to a girl and a spark may just happen........you really dont know.

So what you have to ask is why you think he may be looking for a prositute when he hasnt actually said that?

He does'nt want a relationship or to settle as you say.....accept him as your best friend and be there for him at all times.

If he needs to talk to you about anything, i'm sure he'll bring it up, as you must be as dear to him as he is to you, Scarlett :0) x

[tiggerblue10]

There are lots of things to do in London.