advice on up and down feelings please

[Jenarry]

I think it is a maybe turning 40 in a couple of months thing but i'm having a real up and down time at the moment .
I am the mum of a lovely 5 yr old boy and I work full time in a job I like. I'm a home owner and pretty happy with my lot.
but the only sticking point is my love life. we are happy generally but sometimes i feel pretty peed off with the bf and even think about being single again(more for the having the house and time to myself again and doing what i want when i want and not looking for anyone new as such)me and my bf have been together over a year now and now live together and sometimes i can see us lasting years and having a happy life and home together but sometimes he can get insular, grumpy and v negative a lot and it really pees me off especially when he is like it with my son.
i spent 11 years with someone who was a negative person and i don't wish to have that in my life anymore.
my partner also has an ex who is also a negative factor in our life to the point that we have had to take a harassment order out on her through the police because she won't stop harassing us.she is like a shadow over us as we cant see an end to her and her madness .(it is escalating as well as she physically attacked both of us in front of my son and their 2 sons when we were unfortunate enough to run into her a few weeks ago even though she has the harassment order on her).
please any words on advice would be appreciated. apologies if this post doesn't entirely make sense. we had the pleasure of giving statements at the cop shop tonight,then the usual bedtime routine for my son then bf peed me off so i've been a bit wound up tonight. :O{

[alinic]

Hi Jenarry
Oh dear sounds a very unfortunate situation to be in, I have always looked to have postitivity in my life and not negativity, but at the end of the day, it's what you want, to be in your life, yes its good to get advice but only you can make the decision.
Hope it works out whaterver you decide. x

[carmalee]

morning Jenarry - we all have good and bad aspects of our lives and IMO the key is to minimise the bad and maximise the good - nothings perfect but we are all in charge of our own destiny. Write down the pros and cons of your relationship in a brutally honest way and see how it balances out.

[rowanwitch]

perhaps you need to find ways of re establishing some personal space...perhaps your partner can look after the little one while you go to a gym or evening class....and it is up to your partner to sort out his ex...as much as possible try to step away from the situation I wonder if some of the problem is coming from the partner moving into what was previously your space...and if underneath you have feelings that your territory has been encroached upon. its early days yet and to some extent it is not too late to renegotiate the terms of your relationship. I'd have a good think about what you and your son need and make sure that is met first.

[tfg]

I was married for 41 years, my wife was the positive one even to the end, she would say my cup was half empty and hers was half full, but I always put her first because the love was the most important thing, if you don't feel that love----dump him

[Jenarry]

thanks for your answers everyone.
i think you may be right rowanwitch. i was quite liking having my house and the responsibilities and my time to myself and now feel a bit encroached upon. :O( and further to that i feel like my privacy(the ex keeps snooping and finding out things about me such as my mobile phone number which i have no idea how she found out, and is now texting me as well as my bf) and i also feel like i don't have my safety not even in my own home as she also found out our address. :O( :O(

[nohorn]

This is not an original statement from me......I heard it the other day. In a marriage or any other relationship.......sometimes you are the dog, sometimes you are the hydrant.

[Jenarry]

very good nohorn. i've had another day of it. bf went a bit funny and refused to pay anthing towards a bit of furniture i was buying even though he liked it and previously he has insisted on paying for a similar item . i'm not quite sure what the deal is with buying items for the house now. i dont know what to do. that was 3pm and he stayed quiet and 'not particularly with us in spirit' for the rest of the day and now he has gone to bed.very frustrating. I am really being to wonder whether we should be living together!