relationships

[world hero]

i am married for 7 years to an unloving wife who says i' m unloving . we have a georgeous 5 yr old girl plus a 14 yr old son from her previous .i have worked long and hard on our home , but feel i'm doing it for everyone else but me . please is there anyone that can tell me it's worth it

[Andy008]

I think the only person who can decide whether or not it's worth it is you. I can't tell you how to live your life. Nor can anyone else on this site. What I would say though is that bitter experience qualifies me to say that their is no point in flogging a dead horse, so to speak.

I'll be brutally honest. It doesn't sound like you love your wife. It doesn't sound like she loves you. Do yourself and your sanity a favour and jack it all in now. In the short term this will be bloody difficult, make no mistake. In the long run, it'll be worth it.

[Simon_States]

Try marriage counselling. If that is a non starter you may as well leave and make yourself happy.

[Maggie-Mae]

I would suggest that you sit down with your Wife and have a heart to heart.  You are obviously not getting what you want from each other if you both are finding each other unloving.  As previously suggested, go to counselling. Whilst I agree to a point with what Andy008 has said, you also have invested 7 years of your life in this relationship and have two children to consider. Im not saying that you should stay together just for the children but you and your wife need to decided what effect either staying together or breaking up is going to have on everybody in the household. If the kids are down right miserable as well as yourselves because of fricton or arguments in the house and you both feel there is no chance of salvaging your relationship then maybe you should break up.  You could also try a trial separation so you both have time to think about whats best for yourselves and the children. Sometimes some time apart can help you think more clearly and you may even find a bit of absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Good luck 

[Octavius]

Sounds to me like you need to take some time away together to rediscover the lost love without children and the house work getting in the way.  Whisk her away for a few days on a surprise romantic break for 2 and see if that rekindles anything.  If not try Relate.  If that fails then there really is only 1 option.

I believe that any relationship is worth trying to save, but this has to be reciprocal.  You don't say how long it has been like this.   

[Scarlett]

You say she is unloving, she will say you are. There is a total lack of communication here. Both of you are being stubborn and it's silly. For the sake of your daughter, get some counselling to sort out what both of your beefs are about.

[netibiza]

I so agree with Scarlett - good advice