Sounds like your Mum is at the same stage as mine, been in Home 4 years, somedays cannot work out what the plate in front of her is for and they have to sit and encourage her, others she will get on with it. A few months back she had her first 'accident' and has gradually become more incontinent. When I visited Monday, she did not know who I was, could not stand up and just did not want to be bothered. Today she was alert, drinking a cup of tea, chatty, (although repetative). These days I do not know what to expect each time. Just grateful I found such a good place who always keep me informed of how she is, gets the doctor to her for regular checks, and regular stimulation. She can get aggressive when they try to get her up to the toilet in the night and sometimes refuses her medication. She had a stroke at 49 which unfortunately left her with epilepsy, so there is that to deal with as well.