Met a girl i really like....

[harryj1000]

Hi,

I met this girl for the first time last week and I really really like her and can’t get her out of my mind.
We first met through one of these ads in the paper, had been speaking on the phone and over text for a few days, and then decided to finally meet up for drinks last Wednesday.

The date went great (lots of hand holing and kissing) we then followed it up with a long call to each other Thursday night (I’ll come back to that in a mo.), a great dinner and after drinks around hers (just drinks and kissing!!) and then she came to mine Saturday afternoon and stayed until Sunday evening, we had a great weekend with lots and lots of closeness in different ways throughout the weekend. And have had a few texts from her since saying she had a nice weekend.
So we have spent a lot of time with each other this last week or so.
I also know she has mentioned me to her friends and family.

The thing is, she’s 5years younger than me (I’m 34 and she’s 29), and still seems to be playing the field a little (although she hasn’t been out with or slept with anyone for a few months), where as I have been totally single for over 18months and am looking to find someone and settle down. When I broached the subject of long term stuff with her on the Thursday call, she totally backed off, said she didn’t want to be labelled as a “girlfriend” or anything, but that didn’t mean she would see anyone else – if asked she would just say she’s “seeing someone” – and she just wanted to see where this leads.

As I say, after that call, we had a really nice weekend together (and bumped into some of my friends, which she seemed comfortable with). Were not seeing each other again until the end of this week, and that’s only for a night as she’s away at the weekend.
We don’t live in the same town, but only about 20 mile from each other.

The thing is, I’ve been hurt and taken for a ride in the past, but I really like her (and do tend to dive in head first to these things). I’ve been thinking about her loads since she left last night, but really don’t want to mess it up, and drive her away….

Should I just go with the flow for a little bit (if so, how long), or tell her exactly how I feel, that I’d like more and to feel apart of something more with her?!

Thanks

[Sqad]

Was her name Sally?

[johnk]

You can't expect a big commitment so soon, keep seeing her and see what happens but don't expect too much.

[sallybb]

dont push it. Take you time, enjoy each others company only time will tell or a crystal ball

[mike11111]

Sqad!!!!!

[Ankou]

just go with the flow and enjoy the moment. you only met her last week. if things are going to grow, let them develop over time.

[pa___ul3]

aye, just take her for who she is and don't compare her to any exes, that would be a massive mistake!
When I got with my lass, I'd been playing about with a few other women and she wanted to take it easy after being messed about, we became 'an item' after about a month... and the age gap means nothing, I'm 31 and my girlfriend's 21.
Just enjoy her company without having to give it all a label, updating facebook can wait! ha!

[whiskeysheri]

Don't be so quick to label it, harry, that would put me off. As everyone's said, just enjoy it and let it happen. :)

[WELSHYORKIE]

Go with the flow and see how it develops - definitely do not push it!!

[RAV1D]

Sounds like she's still after playing the field and not too botherd about you as you would like to think so. If She was that botherd she would Not give you the feeling in the first place she's playing the field plus like you said she backed off when you mentioned about her being a girlfriend. Il not get my hopes up on this one. If she was the one for you you would know and not be on here asking questions. You should start backing off a bit and then see if she makes any effort your way or not. Don't let yourself get hurt over someone who deep down you already feel is going too.

[pa___ul3]

there you go Harry, rav1d is giving you an example of how paranoia could potentially destroy a great relationship before you've even given it a chance to kick off!!
My girlfriend could have easily seen me the way I was and thought 'he's just another typical lad chasing anything' but she gave me the benefit of the doubt and I haven't nor would I dream of touching another woman!
Yeah, being messed about early doors could hurt .. for a little bit.. but that 'what if' could torment you forever if you keep going into relationships expecting to get hurt. Paranoia and jealousy are not an attractive traits and unless you accept her for who she is then that would be more likely to break you up than some other chap!

[harryj1000]

Wow,

Thank you so much guys for all your help and advice…..this is better than talking to my mates any day of the week!!

You all seem to be saying the same thing, and I think you’re all right, I need to slow down a little take it for what it is and enjoy the closeness, and hopefully from there things will develop and grow for us both.
I do totally get RAV1D’s point of view as this was how I was feeling about it all too,
If that had been the last posting on here I’d read, that would have also been the thought that lingers with me for the rest of the (if not the week, until we meet again), but thanks to pa_ul3 for pointing out the obvious!!
The majority speaks for itself too.
Also in the last hour or so, she has texted me twice, and I’ve had a missed call from her, so she’s on my answerphone saying she’s thinking about me and to wish me luck in a big meeting I have at work this afternoon. (all this, when I know she’s got a very big day on at work herself too!). So I’m sure that is all good news, and that she is genuine.

I’ve responded with a text (don’t like to call or disturb her too much at work), but am going to leave it now for the rest of the day, letting her make the next move, and maybe try to catch up with her tomorrow.

I think paranoia did set in, and maybe a bit of “what’s she doing with me….”, also that this is the first time ive done any kind of “ad” dating, so it’s all very new to me. But thanks to the Answerbank Gang, I do genuinely feel better about the situation.

Dating eh…Wow, it’s not easy these days!!

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