yes, things should have been handled differently.....

[Amber-Rose]

...but the fact remains, plans were made, he was to leave his wife and do it properly as kids involved, we would be together, wife found out - screaming and arguing, he got kicked out the house but is back in the spare room and now he has made no contact. Why is this? He was open and honest (?) with me before the sh*t hit the fan. Wife should not have found out but she did, and I just thought as rubbish as it was, he would have used the opportunity to leave her, as he was going to do that anyway..... Should I contact him..?

[albaqwerty]

ugh If you knew he was married, the pair of you should have left each other alone. When he was available then yes go for it.

'do it properly as kids involved,' do what properly?

[boxtops]

No, but his wife finding out would have been the ideal time for him/them to have made the firm decision to split up if that's what they felt was right - and they obviously haven't reached that decision yet. All may not be lost for that family.

[craft1948]

You don't know what happened.............his wife could have threatened that he wouldn't see the kids if he moved out.......

[anneasquith]

im sorry your sad, but in future leave married men alone.

[albaqwerty]

his wife could have threatened that he wouldn't see the kids if he moved out.......


Wouldn't have a leg to stand on in court. He could apply for full custody.

[craft1948]

lol alba.............tell that to Fathers 4 Justice.

[sara3]

craft, I agree with what you say, but that's the risk that Amber-Rose was always taking.

[ummmm]

Sounds like it Craft....

[albaqwerty]

true Craft, I think I watch too much Judge Judy.

Using children as pawns is nasty and vicious.

[ummmm]

She could have also threatened to take him to the cleaners.

[craft1948]

Absolutely sara, just not keen on the way she was being picked on. He was committing adultery, not her...........

[sara3]

the first man I had a relationship with after my marriage turned out to be married, and his wife was pregnant.. I ran a bloody mile, but I was devastated.

I wouldn't want to play a part in such a scenario.

[boxtops]

I wonder how old you are, amber?

[sara3]

a previous post said she was 40 last year..

[craft1948]

No it's not ideal sara but if his marriage was so great why look elsewhere. I know some people think a one night stand is nothing for a married man (not my thoughts) but to enter into a full-blown long term relationship would indicate things aren't too great at home.

[sara3]

I know, but he was sneaking around behind his wife's back. it's all just a bit sordid and undignified, and not fair on wife at home if she's unaware.

[Sqad]

crafty

//but to enter into a full-blown long term relationship would indicate things aren't too great at home.///

One doesn't ENTER into a long term relationship....a long term relationship DEVELOPS.

[craft1948]

Agreed sqad, but the spark must be there for it to develop..........

[boxtops]

You have to go looking though, sqad - if all is well at home, and an opportunity arises, you don't take it up.

[Sqad]

boxtops.....not necessarily.......

//if all is well at home//

That is very rarely the case "all is well" but whatever that means and a cast iron opportunity came up, some men would take it. I would have liked to have said" most men" but that would have started off the boring old argument again, so as to avoid that...."some men"