Pregnancy at 40ish

[cocopops]

What age do people think is old enough to have a child and what are the implications if any?

[Cheesefreek]

I had my first child at 37 and my second at 40. I'm now 51, and can't think of any implications!

[FP]

I think it is up to the couple who want the child.  Some people are ready to have a family when they are very young, others want to wait.   I was 36 and it felt right at that age.  I suppose that if you have your kids young you are young with them, but on the other hand, having at child at 36 has kept me thinking young.  I also had a lot more patience at 36 than I had at 26 and I would have felt really tied down earlier.  Physically, I felt great at 36, but I think as you get past 40 there are more risks.  However, there is a lot of medical knowlege available for the older mums. 

Most important that the child is wanted and loved and that the parents are ready and able to take on all the responsibility that children entail and are prepared to give them loads of time.  I feel some people have children because they feel they ought to.  It's a tremendous step in life, but very worthwhile. 

[lecheekyworm]

I had my first child at 42 yrs and it was a half hour birth, 2 pains and there she was.  Its been a wonderful experience - she's now 19 and driving me crazy but am so glad I managed to have her.  I guess I'm maybe a little more protective than I should be.,

[FP]

lecheekyworm.  I think us older mums do tend to be a little overprotective.  I have had to fight against it!  However, that is better than not caring.

[netibiza]

Hi FP its me I'm back thanks for your support I was also the worm, but I really fret dreadfully when she is out all night as they are over here.I also think the menopause has something to do with it.  You never stop worrying do you.

[crisgal]

i had my third baby at 40. I had pre-eclampsia, but did with my first at 29. I also worried myself stupid for nine months that the baby would have something wrong with it - he didn't and the relief was unbelievable!

The only trouble is, i get much more knackered than i did with my first. But of course he's worth every aching joint!

[FP]

Hi Netty.  Mine's now 22 and has been living away from home for several years and I still fret if I don't hear from him!  No, we never stop worrying! 

[netibiza]

FP I was thinking that when my does leave home it would get easier, but I'd probably be on the phone every 5mins and running round interferring!!

[ursula62]

Aside from the risks that come from having older egg cells (females are born with their eggs whereas men make sperm every time it's needed), the risks are not too great if you are otherwise healthy.

If you have any health issues, e.g. diabetes, high blood pressure or bone problems then talk to you doctor before trying to conceive.

[OBonio]

The only implication I can think of is the higher risk of Down's Syndrome and another syndrome I forget the name of. My wife is 36 and is with child. We had something called a Nuchal Translucency scan at 12 weeks which is a good indicator (though not definite) of the likelihood of giving birth to a Down's baby and it's non-intrusive unlike an amnio.

Then there's the usual pregnancy stuff like not eating certain foods, not drinking, not smoking. Common sense stuff really.

Apart from that, there's nothing to worry about.

[thikasabrik]

I had my youngest child 2 months before my 44th birthday and had no problems with the pregnancy or birth. I know that I would not have had the patience to deal with a family when I was in my 20's. Having a young family (my eldest is 9) keeps me young. I can't think of any drawbacks but I do live in fear that one day someone will think I'm his granny.

[netibiza]

Yes thikasabrick - that granny thing is the only drawback, but my daughter says she never felt I was out of place (could give the younger gels a run for their money anyday!)

[cocopops]

Thanks for all your comments. I already have a 9 year old. Just wondering if its not too late to have one last child but am considering it...

[Gilli]

I had my second child a month shy of my 39th birthday - she's now 18 months old. I'd had my 1st at 25, and would have dearly liked another child sooner but after splitting with his dad just didn't meet the right man for quite a while !

Whilst the differences between my 2 are extreme .... they're never going to be playmates, the 13.5 yr age gap does mean that there's no rivalry and my son is very protective of his little sister. Another year or so - he's just 15 - & I hope he'll be willing to babysit too.

As for the implications, can't really think of any that are down to my age. In my head I feel every bit as good or bad a parent as I did when I was 25. I am now 40. The only things to bear in mind are the increased physical risks and necessity for prenatal tests as a result.

Personally, I have found it harder to shift the baby weight and tone up second time round .... guess that's inevitable. But I also successfully breastfed my daughter for 15 months (not exclusively I hasten to add, she did have food too from 6 months!) and I'm proud of doing that without any noticeable "droop" in that area !

I didn't really notice before but when you look around there are lots of other couples in their late 30s/early 40s with babies. I don't think it's considered as unusual as maybe it once was.

[secretspirit]

I'm expecting my baby next month (I'm 24) but I've noticed at the ante-natal classes and when waiting for scans etc that the majority of other people waiting are mid thirties to mid forties. I think it's pretty normal now to wait til later on although personally I wouldn't want to go through pregnancy at that age because it's hard to cope with now but then it obviously depends on how you feel in yourself.