Which eye to look at?

[graemer]

I like to look people in the eyes when talking but have a problem when one eye is obviously wonky (eg going in another direction). I start looking from eye to eye then get a bit embarrased that I'm doing that so look away. I'd love to be able to ask "Do both eyes work?" or "Which eye should I look at?" Is there a protocol?

[Hippy]

It is probably more embarrassing for you than for the other person. Glance deliberately when you come to the end of a particularly strong point in your conversation, ask a question, of wish to convey that you are listening closely and are empathising with the other person.

Try not to look at the squint, but focus on the bridge of their nose, between their eyes until you are sure which eye they favour, and then just concentrate on that one. Remember to smile and suppress  the jaw dropping, just looking at a horror movie look!

[netibiza]

ay! ay!

[Little Lady]

We used to have a maths teacher with a glass eye! It was quite scary as she would be talking to you and looking at you but then the other eye would be acoss the room. When she was writing on the board a few times she would say something as though she could see what was goin on behind her was well freaky. Thankfully we never had to get too close to really look into her eyes we were always trying to work out which was the glass one........

[graemer]

The reason I asked is because there's a lovely guy at work who's eyes are quite different and when I chat with him I'm so aware that I'm looking from eye to eye wondering which one works and then i think "oh god he's watching me go from from eye to eye", and then yes I casually look away and then back and try and focus on the one eye and I'd love to just ask him but don't want to cause any embarassment.

[gazzawazza]

Little lady, are you from Middlesbrough by any chance?!  We also had a maths teacher with a funny eye!

[littleoldme]

Look at the eye that's looking at you - the other one will be busy looking at something else and won't notice. Or if you want to be sure you have his full attention, simply run backwards and forwards repeatedly between the two places his eyes are looking at.

God, I'm so helpful.

[landie]

Perhaps you should spend 30 seconds alternately on each eye? Or concentrate on the bridge of the nose.

As long as you don't let your gaze drop too often.