caring for elderly - is there help available

[Nosha123]

A girl I work with is struggling with her parents at the moment. Her dad has dementia and parkinsons and is now very unsteady on his feet. He has had 4 falls in 2 weeks - fortunately nothing broken but all very bruised and in a lot of pain now.
The girls mother is nearly 70 so struggles to help him to bed and toilet etc and they say they are only entitled to 2 hours of care per week... which they now get.
They do have savings - so this might be why... but the last 2 nights they have had to call an ambulance in mid of night as he has fallen out of bed and she cannot get him back up again.
They are hoping to convert the garage into ground floor bedroom for him (using some of the savings), but the work hasnt even started yet, so is a while off being completed.
What help are they entitled to - or could they get? They now think they need to get a bed for the lounge and a comode - but I am not sure they really know where to start (and they aren't very good at asking for help).
Does anyone have any advice I can give my friend? She is off work today as helping her mum and waiting for the GP to come out.
I know the mother has been crying on the phone to her GP as she is reaching breaking point... can social services help? or Help The Aged? I expect they are reluctant to put him in any kind of full time care...

[bednobs]

Social services at the local council is the first port of call. regardless of what they are entitled to, people can always pay for more help (from an agency for example)

[RATTER15]

She needs to phone the OT department at the local hospital and explain the situation, they have supplied everything we need for my MIL including 2 carers 4 times a day.

Good luck.

[Nosha123]

I thikn they are the kind of people who are quite private and the wife wants to be able to care for him herself - but to get him upstairs to bed must be very dangerous.. imagine if he fell backwards and they both toppled down the stairs!
She is going to see the family GP shortly.
Is there somewhere they can go to to hire or loan a comode and bed? quite quickly? Do Help The Aged do stuff like that?
I think they are reluctant to spend their savings on extra care... but I also think the cold hard facts cannot be avoided and she clearly cant cope on her own anymore.
is there a waiting list for agency carers or can you get someone in quite quickly?

[Nosha123]

Sorry ratter.. what is the OT department?

[RATTER15]

Occupational Therapy, they will visit and assess their needs, if they need a stair lift to get up the stairs they will also arrange that.

[gina32]

occupational therapy

[Nosha123]

aaah thanks!
Can they help with carers or just equipment?

[RATTER15]

OT, will sort out the whole package, carers the lot.

I cant comment on the financial side as I dont know anything about that side of it.

[EDDIE51]

Ratter is a senior worker in a home for dementia sufferers so he knows what he is talking about.
I would suggest you get in touch with AgeUk the combined charity that was formed fron age concern and Help the aged. Thet are VERY good for this type of question and can sort finacial problems as well. Their advice is free and they are the real experts in this field.

[Nosha123]

Thats great thanks folks! I'll pass on the info.
I'm surprised the GP hasnt already put them in this direction for extra help.. but to be honest they may not be asking the right questions... or maybe they havent openly asked for help.

[mumsie_wumsie]

We had the same problem 10 years ago. My mum had parkinsons, and was very irrational at times. She kept falling over, and my dad managed to lift her up for a while. But it got too much for him, she was falling over 3-4 times a day and dad was calling the ambulance to help get her up.It was with great sadness on mine and my sisters part and soul destroying for my dad, but we had to make the decision for mum to go into residential care.She settled reasonably well,was well looked after and we visited her every day. Sadly mum is no longer with us, and dad still feels so sad that he couldn't cope. We re-assure him that he did all he could, but his face tells you he is so sad.

[bednobs]

it must be different in different areas - the ot dept at are local hospital are for people who are being discharged from hospital, not people in the community. There are ot's who work with our community social services who provide the same service for people in the community. Red cross will get things quickly - if they have them you can pick them up the same day

[RATTER15]

bednobs, you are probably right, different systems in different areas.

[Nosha123]

yes Mumsie Wumsie I think that this is a repeat of the same circumstances... and I know the wife wants to be able to say that she cared for him throughout his whole illness.. married in sickness and in health and all that... but I think she has to just accept that she cant do it all on her own.. Even if she was 40 and not 70 she would physically struggle as he is a large man... and she is very slight framed.

[maggiebee]

Not the same situation at all but when I had two hip replacements the local OT department were wonderful. They will assess needs and all equipment is free and not means tested. You can keep it as long as it is needed. Things like bed rails, raised toilet seats, comodes etc etc. Please persuade your friend to make the call.

[bednobs]

i just read back my post and saw my shocking spelling mistake!

[Nosha123]

It must be so hard making the decision - to put someone you love into care - but it would be truly awful if he fell and broke a hip or fell on top of her and injured her (his sole carer)... So maybe it is in his and her best interest... Ultimately he isnt going to get any better... only worse...

[Nosha123]

Maggiebee - I have already texted her to say contact OT... and she is about to... A great start...
Thanks all...

[VHG]

My wife works for our local carers centre (charity).

Every area will have a carers centre.

Phone them up and they will signpost you to what help and adivce and support you can get.

[EDDIE51]

You have to fight for what you are legally entitled to now. Due to spending cuts councils are doing all they can to discourage people from claiming their due rights. That is why I suggested ' Age UK not only can they help with practical advice they have advisors who can help with wording applications to DHSS ect.
The other excellent source of advice is your local CAB , they have advisors who know the system inside out and will go through any forms with you and make sure you get all the help you are entitled to, again their advisors will do the applications for you as they know exactly the correct form of words to use to get your full entitlement.
We used them to do my wifes application for DLA which had been refused previously. The CAB did the application and we got the full cash within 5 days (yes 5 Days) they are great but the advisors have a waiting list so get in now !