what can she do to help herself?

[nextqueen]

i read somewhere a few weeks ago that you really cant stop someone from commiting suicide. ive got a friend who was dumped back in august and she made 2 suicide attempts within weeks of each other. the first time her friend convinced her to go to hospital then she passed out and was on icu and cardio ward for 3days. then she drove to a country place and took paracetamol, i knew it was brewing and called the police, they found her in time. she keeps wishing she never woke up even now and that she was six foot under. it has really worn me down and my husband has made me back off. the thing is she was dont know if still is seeing a counsellor, crisis team? shes so low and the doc wont give her any drugs as the first time she took 90 antidepressants! how can she get better without medication when its not being prescribed? i just feel she is being left to repeat the same. she is so up and down, more down and just keeps going over old ground, im fed up of hearing it as good as friend i try to be, but nothing i say or do helps. do you think the docs will prescribe something after a while?

[tenrec]

That is so sad. I don't know the answer but good luck

[boxtops]

She needs a referral for counselling, possibly to a mental health team (which is not as drastic as it sounds) - does she have a decent GP?

[rozia]

I think she needs sectioning for a while, that's the best care for her, and may bring her back on track. good luck, and your a good mate for looking out for her. I suggest you contact her GP and take her along with you for the referral.

[boxtops]

Good friend or not, this is probably beyond your scope to manage - it's vital that she stays under medical treatment. See if she will see her GP, and can take you along with her.

[Craftypig]

Sounds like she is going through the stages of being dumped, some people do go to such extremes when faced with this situation. I wouldn't abandon her completely, there is help available for her but it might be worthwhile to keep in touch with her, offering kind words and comfort, you probably have done this and more but hopefully the time will come when she accepts the relationship is over and she can move on. She will be able to look back knowing that there were friends there for her.

[VHG]

She needs to be sectioned for her own good.

Frank Bruno the boxer was sectioned a few years ago when he got "out of control".

But I did know a girl about 25 years ago who was dumped and killed herself by taking paracetamol.

Awful long slow way to die as it attacks the kidneys and even if you survive it can damage your kidneys for the rest of your life.

[VHG]

Sorry, I think it is the liver it attacks not the kidneys.

But it can mean a liver transplant is required after an overdose if the person survives.

[4getmenot]

about 7 of my friends have committed suicide. Your friend needs to see a counseller. she is crying out for help at the moment. Believe me if a person really wants to kill themselves they will do. All the people I know that died never left a note or spoke to people about it before they went. They were in a very bad place those times and no-one can know what the hell they were thinking. She needs to get help, see her doctor as well for help with depression. And yes if the pills arent pumped from the stomach properly they can poison the organs and it can be a very slow painful death.

[Canary42]

Definitely a case for Sectioning, for her own good.

[welshlibranr]

very difficult for you nextqueen!......not a lot you can do really, except be supportive, it's down to the medics to decide when they can safely prescribe for her..................

[EDDIE51]

She needs to be under constant supervision, as you say just giving her medication is no good, she will just take the lot in one go.
I have to agree with the others she needs to be in a mental health secure unit.
From what you say the treatment so far has been woefully short of what is needed. Is her doctor fully aware of the situation? he/she needs to do a lot more than has been done so far.
I am trying to think of a way to get help and I am thinking of the Samaritans,I know it is not you that needs help but they are the one group of people I can think of that would know how to proceed to get help, I would at least phone them and ask advice.

[NOX]

As 4get says- if she wanted to kill herself she would be dead by now- this is someone whose feeling wretched who wants somthing to replace that which she has lost and she is doing this by harming herself ( self reproach and guilt) and drawing attention to herself ( gaining love and sympathy by her actions).
the real danger here is that this sort of behaviour can become addictive, the massive pitches of mood and emotion it brings are very compelling for someone whose numb with grief about the demise of their relationship.
As I doubt it's true depression then I think it's a good thing that she hasn't been prescribed anything- they generally don't help, and certainly not if you are just suffering from terminal low self esteem issues.
What your friend actually needs is a measured plan drawn up whereby she starts to regain calm control over her life again eradicating whoever it was that dumped her systematically and replacing it with other things that are life enriching. If she's not prepared to do that, and she probably isn't, friends are left to make a choice of whether to do it for them, or back off.
My advice is not to pander to endless moaning conversations about ex bf etc and only engage in positive situations with her like going out, arranging holiday etc, talking about new job, brighter future. Her self esteem is the only issue here, and that's what has to be addressed iderally through counselling, meditation etc certainly not through drugs.Somtimes you do have to be slightly cruel to be kind and I think here is your final chance to do that before your friend simply spends her future repeating a pattern.

[EDDIE51]

Nox, the person HAS tried to kill herself twice ! and was only stopped because the police got to her it time due to nextqueens warning.She is not safe on her own and needs to be in a controlled situation under constant supervision. At present this person needs to be in a mental health unit for her own safety.

[emmie]

she needs hospital treatment and long term counselling, suggest that for her own good someone tells her doctor this, and stress that the next time she tries could well be her last. Does she have family who could help? as they are the first people i would contact. Especially as they are the ones who can get her sectioned if need be, and it does sound like it.

[NOX]

EDDIE- no need to be so patronising- the lady concerned has taken an overdose on two occasions- not everyone doing so intends to kill themselves, in fact the vast majority do not. I have lived with mental health issues for my entire life and know very well the addictive nature of ' cries for help'.
Health profesional dealing with this lady clearly don't agree with you otherwise she would have been secitoned. The OP was asking for help and advice, we can all only advise as we see it, I see it this way, you see it differently, niether of us is necessarily right but I wouldn't dream of rubbishing your opinions simply because I don't agree with them- and for the record my opinion is if you place her in a mental health unit against her will you will only further degrade her and make her feel as though she has no control over her life- this l;ady needs to be put back in control not further disempowered.

[rowanwitch]

Many with failed attempts go on to complete the act. But there is no reason why she can't have medication but it will need to be prescribed in safe amounts (one weeks worth at time) and monitored. There are some anti depressants where it is pretty much impossible to do yourself serious long term harm with even quite major overdoses but the GP should be seeing her weekly as a minimum at the moment. While a GP can't discuss her with you you can contact them and tell them your concerns. It may be she can be persuaded to self refer to a counselling service or accept inpatient care as a voluntary patient (although if they assess her as an immediate risk they might resort to a section if she tries to leave or refuses treatment)